Some people say that schools are no longer necessary because children can get so much information available through the Internet, and they can study just as well at home. To what extent do you agree or disagree?

In our modernisation era, most of the community believes that
school
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is not essential to educate children because of internet education. In my opinion, the negative impacts of
this
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improvement are outweighed by the positives. One of the main reasons why people agree with
this
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viewpoint is that many individuals cannot afford to pay for
school
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, including books, uniforms, and commuting. To expand on
this
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, there are families with more than six ancestors , so they can spend
this
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money
instead
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of on
school
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.
Furthermore
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, most of them are introverts who cannot speak or be calm in front of an audience;
as a result
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, online education might be suitable.Online platforms allow students to revisit recorded lessons, thereby improving their understanding of complex topics which
is
Correct subject-verb agreement
are
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difficult to find at
school
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.
However
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, it is
also
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argued that schools always play a crucial role so as to educate ancestors.
This
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is because teachers provide control at schools; they check homework and take exams to check how
ancestors
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students
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learn and what their mistakes are.
Consequently
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, they can assist to help their weaknesses and make them compelled to study. By the way, studying with classmates increases competition between learners.
For instance
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,
according to
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world statistics, in Korea, students participate to get a higher grade, and they do not even study to get to the top of the class. In conclusion, there are valid arguments on both sides. I completely agree that schools have always been a crucial part of education.
This
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is because students need discipline to study, so classmates and teachers are supportive in assisting with that.

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Task Response
Say your view clearly in the opening and keep to it in the body.
Coherence and Structure
Use four parts: intro, two or three body paragraphs, and a short end.
Lexical Resource
Watch word choice. Do not use wrong words like ancestors; use clear words for your ideas.
Task Response
Give real and simple examples to back your point.
Grammar
Check grammar and spelling. Keep to right tense and form.
Coherence and Cohesion
Link your ideas with small words like also, but, many, then to make flow.
Content
You show the idea that schools still have a big role in kids’ learning.
Structure
You give a view on both sides.
Examples
You give a Korea example to show a point.
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