Some say that because many people are living much longer, the age at which people retire from work should be raised considerably. To what extent do you agree or disagree whit this statement?

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It is undeniable that the human at the present time can take longer time in their life rather than their ancestors, resulting some

people

Use synonyms

think that the human should increase the age ranges of the retirement from their

work

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. From my point of view, I disagree with

this

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idea for many reasons which will be outlined in the detail in the following paragraph. In my opinion, I think that

people

Use synonyms

who are over 60 years old are not suitable for some

work

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due to they have many issues,

such

Linking Words

as health, memory, learning and performance, which are

Change the article

apply

show examples

important for many careers.

For example

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, the persons who have the age at 60 years or over have often

the

Correct article usage

apply

show examples

health issues, like backache and eyes problems,

firstly

Linking Words

Secondly

Linking Words

, the performance of the older in terms of working in some situations is not suitable for them. You just try to imagine that if an elder is an engineer, they will field in many sites of the construction which has a lot of danger and harmful for their bodies, and their capability will drop and

work

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slowly rather than younger

people

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Additionally

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, one of the important factors of working, nowadays is that many organizations are often using advanced technologies which can cause a lot of problems for the elders due to some orders are difficultly adjusting with these technologies because decreasing of the improvement in terms of learning which is a difference between the older and the younger .

Furthermore

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, the memory of

people

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often stops working when they grow up to older

people

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as a result

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, some skills,

for instance

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, calculation and problem solving, cannot develop continuously, unlike children who are constantly evolving. In conclusion, I strongly disagree with

this

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viewpoint due to the scope of

work

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of many elders has many

limited

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limiting

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factors, like their brain and their physical health.

Although

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they should retire from

work

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at the same age, they can

also

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have other activities to replace their

work

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after

the

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apply

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retirement.

Therefore

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, it is recommended that the government should provide some hobbies or activities for many elders who have a lot of free time after they leave out

from

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apply

show examples

their jobs.

Submitted by kitsanayuiyui on Sun Sep 26 2021

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12
Linking words
meeting the goal of 7 or more
2
Word repetition
meeting the goal of 3 or fewer
5
Grammar mistakes
detected issues

0123456789.0505

Overall Band Score

Coherence and Cohesion: 9.0

Logical structure

Introduction & conclusion present

Supported main points

Accurate linking words

Variety in linking words

Lexical resource: 5.0

Varied vocabulary

Accurate spelling & word formation

Grammatical Range: 5.0

Mix of complex & simple sentences

Clear and correct grammar

Task Achievement: 7.5

Complete response

7.5

Clear & comprehensive ideas

Relevant & specific examples

Appropriate word count

4 paragraphs

362 words

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Topic Vocabulary:

• Life expectancy
• Pension systems
• Financial burden
• Government resources
• Experienced workforce
• Workplace wisdom
• Personal fulfillment
• Physically and mentally fit
• Health problems
• Job market
• Youth unemployment rates
• Quality of life
• Economic inequality
• Physically demanding jobs
• Socioeconomic status

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Some say that because many people are living much longer, the age at which people retire from work should be raised considerably. To what extent do you agree or disagree whit this statement?

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Government of many countries had to impose a lockdown to control the Coronavirus pandemic. What were the advantages and disadvantages of this lockdown.Give eamples from your own experience

Some people think that family has the most powerful influence on a child’s development, while others think that other factors such as television, friend, music have the biggest effects. Discuss both views and give your opinion?