Some people think that government is responsible for the rise in obesity in children. Do you agree or disagree? Give reasons for your answer and include any relevant examples from your own knowledge or experience.

#people #government #rise #obesity #children

Currently, it is

ofen

Correct your spelling

often

considered that the

governement

Correct your spelling

government

has a

resposibility

Correct your spelling

responsibility

for the fact that

children

suffer from obesity. I completely agree with

this

statement and I will explain my opinion in more detail in

this

essay. One of the

reason

Change to a plural noun

reasons

show examples

why the state plays an important role in solving the overweight problem among youth is that it can provide material support to improve

sport

Change the noun form

sports

show examples

industries.

In other words

, the government can build many different facilities related to the sport,

such

as a fitness

center

Change the spelling

centre

show examples

, swimming pools and many others, which in turn may have a positive effect on adolescents' healthy lives.

For example

, in my country, when

policitics

Correct your spelling

politics

took measures and built a

center

Change the spelling

centre

show examples

where people had an opportunity to follow the healthy

Correct your spelling

lifestyle

show examples

life style

Correct your spelling

lifestyle

show examples

, it encourage parents and their

children

to fight

with

Change preposition

apply

show examples

obesity.

In addition

, the

governement

Correct your spelling

government

has a significant impact on social media in some countries.

Therefore

, in order to help

children

with their weight

problem

Fix the agreement mistake

problems

show examples

, the state may provide information about health exercises, a balanced diet and many other useful things with the Internet, television and other media.

Moreover

, the advertising of fitness

cources

Correct your spelling

courses

and other services can contribute

Change preposition

to a

show examples

rise

Change preposition

show examples

motivation among

children

to go

in for

Change preposition

show examples

sport.

For instance

, my brother was overweight and did not want to do something with that.

However

, after he watched a video on TV where a new fitness

center

Change the spelling

centre

show examples

in our city suggested

to join to

Change the verb form

joining

show examples

the new course, he liked

this

idea and began to go there.

As a result

, he managed to lose

his

Correct pronoun usage

apply

show examples

weight and became stronger and healthier. In conclusion, the fact that

children

have obesity is quite common today.

Thus

, I think that governments should take some steps to

migitate

Correct your spelling

mitigate

meditate

migrate

this

issue.

Submitted by mar16.f on Mon Sep 27 2021

Unauthorized use and/or duplication of this material without express and written permission from this site’s author and/or owner is strictly prohibited. Excerpts and links may be used, provided that full and clear credit is given to Writing9 with appropriate and specific direction to the original content.

Use a variety of complex and simple sentences

You should use complex sentences in your writing, but it does not mean that you should try to make all of our sentences complex.

‘Complex’ sentences are not actually very complex; they are just two or more simple sentences put together. Putting them together makes the essay more coherent and cohesive.

Examples:

I really want to study but I’m too tired.

I wore a warm coat because the weather was cold.

If action is not taken soon on climate change, global warming will get worse.

Discover more tips in The Ultimate Guide to Get a Target Band Score of 7+ »— a book that's free for 🚀 Premium users.

Do you want to check your IELTS essays?

Submit unlimited essays, letters and charts. Sign up right now and start improving your writing skills.

11Linking words
meeting the goal of 7 or more
1Word repetition
meeting the goal of 3 or fewer
21Grammar mistakes
 

4 paragraphs

291 words

6.50

Overall Band Score

Coherence and Cohesion: 9.0

Logical structure

Introduction & conclusion present

Supported main points

Accurate linking words

Variety in linking words

Lexical resource: 4.0

Varied vocabulary

Accurate spelling & word formation

Grammatical Range: 4.0

Mix of complex & simple sentences

Clear and correct grammar

Task Achievement: 8.0

Complete response

Clear & comprehensive ideas

Relevant & specific examples

Appropriate word count

🚀 Prepare for IELTS writing section today!

Unlimited Task 1 checks
Get all the feedback you need to keep improving your charts and letters.
Unlimited Task 2 checks
Practice and perfect your skills with essays.
Personalized suggestions
Know how to boost your score.
Detailed mistakes analysis
Get instant feedback. Spot every mistake.
Topic ideas generator
Get topic-specific ideas to enhance your writing.
Vocabulary helper
Get the right words for any topic.
Progress tracking
Track your writing improvements.

Topic Vocabulary:

policies
responsibility
health and well-being
education and awareness programs
childhood obesity
food advertising and labeling
unhealthy food
supportive environments
recreational facilities
collaboration
healthcare providers

What to do next:

Look at other essays:

4
band
Many people believe that women make better parents than men and that this is why they have the greater role in raising children in most societies. Others claim that men are just as good as women at parenting. Write an essay expressing your point of view. Give reasons for your answer and include any relevant examples from your own experience or knowledge.
Some people think that women have the more responsible for raising children in the vast mojority of communities since they make better parents compared to men. Others believe that men can be have parental skills as women. There are some considerable traditional belives and reasonable different perspective, I will discuss both sides of this attertion in this essay.
<4
band
The best way to solve the world's environmental problems is to increase the cost of fuel. To what extent do you agree or disagree?
Fuel,is one of the most important resources known to humankind.Plays an important role in our daily life.However,it causes environmental problems.It is agreed that the best way to solve this problem is to grow the price of gas.
4.5
band
Some people think that the best way to become successful in life is to get a university education, whereas others say this is no longer true. Discuss both these views and give your own opinion.
Many people believe that the best method to become a successful person is to obtain a degree from a university, while others and I disagree with the idea and think that this is not the case anymore. In the following paragraph, both of these viewpoints will be discussed in detail before the conclusion is reached.
5
band
The education of young people is the main priority in countries around the world. Some people believe that educating adults who cannot read or write is essential for the society and more funding should be made available for it. Do you agree or disagree?
Many argue that countries must prioritize the learning of the youth, while others opine to have societies should start funding the education of illiterate adults. I agree with the view of adult schooling and, this essay will explain the reasons to fund them.
7.5
band
Some people claim that not enough of wastes from homes are recycled. They believe that the only way to increase recycling is for government to make it a legal requirement. To what extent do you believe that laws are needed to make people recycle more of their wastes.
The awareness on recycling is increasing in many countries around the world. Whilst some are of the view that households are not doing enough to recycle their waste and that government legislation would be the best option. In my opinion, I believe that such laws are needed l, but exploring other means to ensure compliance should be looked into.

Some people think that government is responsible for the rise in obesity in children. Do you agree or disagree? Give reasons for your answer and include any relevant examples from your own knowledge or experience.

Use a variety of complex and simple sentences

The best way to solve the world's environmental problems is to increase the cost of fuel. To what extent do you agree or disagree?

Some people think that the best way to become successful in life is to get a university education, whereas others say this is no longer true. Discuss both these views and give your own opinion.

The education of young people is the main priority in countries around the world. Some people believe that educating adults who cannot read or write is essential for the society and more funding should be made available for it. Do you agree or disagree?

Some people claim that not enough of wastes from homes are recycled. They believe that the only way to increase recycling is for government to make it a legal requirement. To what extent do you believe that laws are needed to make people recycle more of their wastes.