Some people think that young children should learn how to play a musical instrument at school. Others believe that other subjects, such as mathematics and science, should be prioritised because they will be more useful for children when they grow older. Discuss both these views and give your own opinion.
Some would argue that musical
instruments
should be taught at Use synonyms
children
’s schools, Use synonyms
while
others think that there are more important Linking Words
subjects
young Use synonyms
children
should be learning about because these Use synonyms
subjects
will be useful in their future Use synonyms
lives
. Use synonyms
Although
learning a musical Linking Words
instrument
can improve creativity for kids, I would argue that Use synonyms
subjects
Use synonyms
such
as physics, technology, history…etc, will be beneficial for their academic Linking Words
lives
.
On the one hand, learning musical Use synonyms
instruments
at Use synonyms
children
’s schools can boost creativity in a child’s personality. Musical Use synonyms
instruments
teach Use synonyms
children
how to express their emotions and feelings in a creative way. Use synonyms
Additionally
, learning how to play an Linking Words
instrument
requires practice and effort which can be very good to learn these skills at an early age. Use synonyms
For instance
, a piano is a complex Linking Words
instrument
and needs time and effort to learn how to use keys which helps Use synonyms
children
gain qualities like (patience, resilience and consistency) unconsciously. From my point of view, Use synonyms
although
musical Linking Words
instruments
are crucial to building creative thinking and some personal qualities, there are many essential Use synonyms
subjects
Use synonyms
children
must learn at school in order to help them in their future Use synonyms
lives
. Use synonyms
Hence
, Linking Words
children
can learn a musical Use synonyms
instrument
outside school and take it as a habit to improve their personal qualities.
Use synonyms
On the other hand
, many Linking Words
subjects
are more valuable to learn than music which prepares Use synonyms
children
for their academic Use synonyms
lives
. When young Use synonyms
children
are taught technology, science, and history they are more likely to use Use synonyms
this
knowledge in their Linking Words
further
education and give them a strong background about some essential information which assists them to develop their academic skills. Linking Words
For example
, technology is a critical skill and when Linking Words
children
learn how to do research and use PowerPoint for class presentations from an early age that will be useful to get good marks and academic records. From my perspective, Use synonyms
children
’s schools should focus on useful Use synonyms
subjects
that give Use synonyms
children
good information about their studies in the future.
In conclusion, there are no deniable musical Use synonyms
instruments
good for Use synonyms
children
to improve creativity and personal trials, I believe that other Use synonyms
subjects
are more important because they prepare and help Use synonyms
children
in their Use synonyms
further
education.Linking Words
Submitted by ghazl.1998g on
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task achievement
The essay presents clear arguments on both sides of the discussion topic and provides a personal viewpoint, achieving a complete response to the task. However, you could strengthen your argument structure by providing more balanced examples or case studies for both viewpoints.
task achievement
Ensure clarity and comprehension by rephrasing complex sentences and using clear linking phrases where necessary. You can enhance comprehension by adding transitions to strengthen the flow between points.
coherence cohesion
The essay has a logical and coherent structure, with well-organized paragraphs and a clear progression of ideas. Still, you might want to ensure that each paragraph's main idea is clearly stated at the beginning and consistently developed throughout the paragraph.
introduction conclusion present
The introduction effectively outlines both perspectives and states the writer's position clearly.
introduction conclusion present
The conclusion effectively summarizes the main points while reiterating the writer's stance, providing closure to the argument.
supported main points
The essay contains supported main points, with relevant examples provided to illustrate key arguments, such as the benefits of learning technology for academic skills.