Many students now work whilst they are studying in college or university. This often results in them having less time to concentrate on their studies as well as feeling under pressure. What are some of the causes of this? What solutions could you suggest?

#students #work #whilst #college #university #results #time #studies #pressure

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It is quite often observed these days that college or university

students

are employed part- or full-time. They could be doing so to afford their education, and perhaps their families as well, or to gain hands-on experience through applying their knowledge.

However

while

doing so, they end up bearing

extra

Add an article

the extra

show examples

burden of both arduous tasks and find it hard to concentrate on academics. In

this

essay, I will elaborate on the above-mentioned reasons and will try to present a few probable solutions to these issues as well.

Firstly

, the rising cost of almost everything in today's world has an effect on academic institutions as well.

This

is especially true for those institutes that equip

students

for skilled professions,

for example

, engineering, medicine, information technology, computer sciences, etc. A constant fee hike of these alma maters has made it impossible for pupils from low-income backgrounds to continue studying without having an additional means of earning.

As a result

, they are compelled to juggle between work and studies,

in addition

to financing their families, and end up burnt out. A

further

reason is a competitive employment market trend that prioritizes to hire

such

candidates who are already equipped with practical experience even as a fresher. As an example,

this

work experience could be in the form of paid or unpaid internships that were not necessarily part of

studies

Correct article usage

the studies

show examples

. To avail lucrative job opportunities, most

students

then

become part of

this

rat race of working

while

studying at the cost of their mental and physical health. As a solution, the universities should dedicate more scholarships for deserving

students

, which can ease their monetary burdens.

Also

, academic organizations could introduce distance-learning or blended-learning modes of education, where degrees might be awarded during an extended period of time but would hold the same credit hours and recognition as a full-time study course.

This

is to ensure that the enrolled candidates would be able to keep a balance between their professional and academic areas.

Furthermore

, the government may grant loans to

such

candidates on the condition to return these loans only after being able to start a stable means of income.

To conclude

, it is becoming quite demanding to keep up with the modern world's monetary demands. Higher education is costly and most

students

have to bear

burdens

Correct article usage

the burdens

show examples

of working

besides

their studies to meet both ends.

Therefore

, applying a few measures both at universities and national levels would greatly help

such

knowledge seekers.

Submitted by dr.aqeelazafar on Tue Jun 25 2024

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Coherence and Cohesion

Ensure each paragraph maintains a clear focus and doesn't mix multiple points. For example, when discussing the causes and solutions, try to stay focused on one aspect per paragraph.

Task Response

Expand on the examples you use. For instance, when mentioning work experience in the job market, provide a specific scenario or statistic to illustrate the point more clearly.

Task Response

While the essay provides a comprehensive response, some of the points can be further broken down. For instance, the financial burdens could be discussed in one paragraph and the experience requirement in another to avoid overlap and maintain clarity.

Coherence and Cohesion

The essay has a clear introduction and conclusion, which effectively frame the discussion and recap the main points.

Task Response

Main points are supported with logical reasoning and are clearly expressed, ensuring the reader understands the core arguments.

Support ideas with relevant, specific examples

Examples make your writing easier to understand by illustrating points more effectively.

Examples, if used properly, not only help you get higher marks for ‘Task Response’ but also for ‘Coherence’.

When giving examples it is best to put them after your main idea or topic sentence. They can be used in the middle of supporting sentences or they can be used to start a new sentence. There is no rule for where exactly to give examples in essays, logically they would come after your main idea/topic sentence or just after a supporting sentence.

Linking words for giving examples:

for example
for instance
to illustrate this
to give a clear example
such as
namely
to illustrate
take, for example

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15
Linking words
meeting the goal of 7 or more
1
Word repetition
meeting the goal of 3 or fewer
3
Grammar mistakes
detected issues

0123456789.0505

Overall Band Score

Coherence and Cohesion: 6.0

7.5

Logical structure

8.5

Introduction & conclusion present

7.5

Supported main points

Accurate linking words

Variety in linking words

Lexical resource: 6.0

Varied vocabulary

Accurate spelling & word formation

Grammatical Range: 6.0

Mix of complex & simple sentences

Clear and correct grammar

Task Achievement: 7.5

8.5

Complete response

Clear & comprehensive ideas

7.5

Relevant & specific examples

Appropriate word count

4 paragraphs

408 words

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Many students now work whilst they are studying in college or university. This often results in them having less time to concentrate on their studies as well as feeling under pressure. What are some of the causes of this? What solutions could you suggest?

Support ideas with relevant, specific examples

The face to face contact is better. Is it positive or negative development?

When choosing the best candidate for a job, employers should consider personal qualities more than qualification and experience. To what extent do you agree or disagree?

Some People Think That Success In Life Comes From Hard Work And Determination, While Others Think That There Are More Important Factors Such As Money And Appearance

Write about the following topic: 250 words The average standard of people's health is likely to be lower in the future than it is now. To what extent do you agree or disagree with this statement? Give reasons for your answer and include any relevant examples from your own knowledge or experience.-

In some countries, most people prefer to rent their homes rather than buying them.what are some of the advantages and disadvantages of renting homes ?