Many students now work whilst they are studying in college or university. This often results in them having less time to concentrate on their studies as well as feeling under pressure. What are some of the causes of this? What solutions could you suggest?

It is quite often observed these days that college or university
students
are employed part- or full-time. They could be doing so to afford their education, and perhaps their families as well, or to gain hands-on experience through applying their knowledge.
However
,
while
doing so, they end up bearing
extra
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the extra
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burden of both arduous tasks and find it hard to concentrate on academics. In
this
essay, I will elaborate on the above-mentioned reasons and will try to present a few probable solutions to these issues as well.
Firstly
, the rising cost of almost everything in today's world has an effect on academic institutions as well.
This
is especially true for those institutes that equip
students
for skilled professions,
for example
, engineering, medicine, information technology, computer sciences, etc. A constant fee hike of these alma maters has made it impossible for pupils from low-income backgrounds to continue studying without having an additional means of earning.
As a result
, they are compelled to juggle between work and studies,
in addition
to financing their families, and end up burnt out. A
further
reason is a competitive employment market trend that prioritizes to hire
such
candidates who are already equipped with practical experience even as a fresher. As an example,
this
work experience could be in the form of paid or unpaid internships that were not necessarily part of
studies
Correct article usage
the studies
show examples
. To avail lucrative job opportunities, most
students
then
become part of
this
rat race of working
while
studying at the cost of their mental and physical health. As a solution, the universities should dedicate more scholarships for deserving
students
, which can ease their monetary burdens.
Also
, academic organizations could introduce distance-learning or blended-learning modes of education, where degrees might be awarded during an extended period of time but would hold the same credit hours and recognition as a full-time study course.
This
is to ensure that the enrolled candidates would be able to keep a balance between their professional and academic areas.
Furthermore
, the government may grant loans to
such
candidates on the condition to return these loans only after being able to start a stable means of income.
To conclude
, it is becoming quite demanding to keep up with the modern world's monetary demands. Higher education is costly and most
students
have to bear
burdens
Correct article usage
the burdens
show examples
of working
besides
their studies to meet both ends.
Therefore
, applying a few measures both at universities and national levels would greatly help
such
knowledge seekers.
Submitted by dr.aqeelazafar on

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Coherence and Cohesion
Ensure each paragraph maintains a clear focus and doesn't mix multiple points. For example, when discussing the causes and solutions, try to stay focused on one aspect per paragraph.
Task Response
Expand on the examples you use. For instance, when mentioning work experience in the job market, provide a specific scenario or statistic to illustrate the point more clearly.
Task Response
While the essay provides a comprehensive response, some of the points can be further broken down. For instance, the financial burdens could be discussed in one paragraph and the experience requirement in another to avoid overlap and maintain clarity.
Coherence and Cohesion
The essay has a clear introduction and conclusion, which effectively frame the discussion and recap the main points.
Task Response
Main points are supported with logical reasoning and are clearly expressed, ensuring the reader understands the core arguments.

Support ideas with relevant, specific examples

Examples make your writing easier to understand by illustrating points more effectively.

Examples, if used properly, not only help you get higher marks for ‘Task Response’ but also for ‘Coherence’.

When giving examples it is best to put them after your main idea or topic sentence. They can be used in the middle of supporting sentences or they can be used to start a new sentence. There is no rule for where exactly to give examples in essays, logically they would come after your main idea/topic sentence or just after a supporting sentence.

Linking words for giving examples:

  • for example
  • for instance
  • to illustrate this
  • to give a clear example
  • such as
  • namely
  • to illustrate
  • take, for example

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