Some people think that schools have to be more entertaining, while others think that their sole purpose is to educate. Which do you agree with? Use specific reasons and examples to support your opinion.

#people #schools #purpose #support

Many countries are now considering moving away from traditional teaching methods and including enjoyable activities in them.

On the other hand

, some believe that the conventional method of teaching should be maintained. In my view, I agree on including entertainment in schools rather than providing

education

only.

Firstly

, many pupils lack interest in attending

school

daily as they are getting lessons and notes only from teachers. If we can discover a way to entertain them, there is a high possibility of attracting

such

students to

school

This

will

also

support reducing the stress that they have from other problems.

For example

, a child who has issues at home will feel comfortable in

school

with

this

type of setup.

Moreover

, students will not try to seek other sources of illegal enjoyment once they feel the proper leisure activities from

school

Furthermore

, there can be a significant effect on the future of a child with

this

method of teaching. With the current structure, many students do not get the opportunity to express themselves freely and experience the balance between studies and leisure.

As a result

, they struggle in finding their balance in life when they become adults.

In addition

, their sensitivity towards society could be worse if they only follow what is inside books. With an

education

filled with refreshment, all issues above can be solved and we may witness a resourceful individual being released to society. In conclusion, though the traditional method of providing

education

only in schools can make a student filled with knowledge, he or she will lack the mental balance without entertainment in it. My idea is that every country should implement an entertaining

education

mechanism to make sure that they will release a perfect person to society.

Submitted by suga.ek on Mon Sep 27 2021

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Support ideas with relevant, specific examples

Examples make your writing easier to understand by illustrating points more effectively.

Examples, if used properly, not only help you get higher marks for ‘Task Response’ but also for ‘Coherence’.

When giving examples it is best to put them after your main idea or topic sentence. They can be used in the middle of supporting sentences or they can be used to start a new sentence. There is no rule for where exactly to give examples in essays, logically they would come after your main idea/topic sentence or just after a supporting sentence.

Linking words for giving examples:

for example
for instance
to illustrate this
to give a clear example
such as
namely
to illustrate
take, for example

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10Linking words
meeting the goal of 7 or more
2Word repetition
meeting the goal of 3 or fewer
0Grammar mistakes
 

4 paragraphs

290 words

0123456789.0505

Overall Band Score

Coherence and Cohesion: 6.0

Logical structure

Introduction & conclusion present

Supported main points

Accurate linking words

Variety in linking words

Lexical resource: 8.0

Varied vocabulary

Accurate spelling & word formation

Grammatical Range: 9.0

Mix of complex & simple sentences

Clear and correct grammar

Task Achievement: 6.0

Complete response

7.5

Clear & comprehensive ideas

Relevant & specific examples

Appropriate word count

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Some people think that schools have to be more entertaining, while others think that their sole purpose is to educate. Which do you agree with? Use specific reasons and examples to support your opinion.

Support ideas with relevant, specific examples

Essentional vocabulary list for IELTS Writing 7+

In some country, more people are choosing to live alone. Do you think it has positive or negative effects on them?

People used to live in the same city throughout their lives, but now they change where they live several times. What is the cause? Do you think it is a positive or negative trend?

Many countries invest money to prepare competitors to join top competitions, like the Olympics or the World Cup, while others feel that this is a waste of tax-payer money. Discuss both sides and state your opinion

All cars that burn fossil fuels should be banned and electric cars should replace them. Do you agree or disagree?

Many elderly people are no longer after by their families but are put in care homes or nursing home. What are the advantages and disadvantages of this trend?