childhood besity is becoming a problem throughout the developed world. Because of this, some people think that adverts for fast food, sweet sugary snakes should not be allowed in schools and colleges. what extent do you agree or dis agree with this?

Nowdaysm
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Nowadays

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obesity is becoming
problem
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a problem

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for early age people in
well developed
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well-developed

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countries. Some advocate that to minimize
this
issue,
promotion
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the promotion

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of certain
food
should be stopping. I completely agree that
advertisement
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advertisements

It seems that advertisement may not agree in number with other words in this phrase.

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for fast
food
, sweet sugary
snakes
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snacks

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should not be allowed in schools and colleges. Analyzing how these foods come in
prority
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priority

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for children by watching promotion and why they select
such
meals as part of
thier
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their
the

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meal will prove
this
.
Fristly
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Firstly
First

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, when children watch
promotion
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the promotion

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of these fast
food
and sugary snakes they
tend
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totend

It appears that the verb choose should be in the to-infinitive form. Consider adding the word to.

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choose
such
dishes because it is as they are healthy,
testy
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tasty

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and easy to eat ,and that
stimulate
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stimulates

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the
Correct article usage
apply

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hunger in kids.
For
example
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,example

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a
10 year
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10-year

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schoolboy saw a board
containg
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containing
contains

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a picture of M&M which is a sugary candy, he demanded his parents
this
for breakfast
instead
of
healthy
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a healthy

The noun phrase healthy homemade one seems to be missing a determiner before it. Consider adding an article.

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homemade one.
Thus
, advertisement of
such
food
in school, college can encourage students to choose
food
, which has more sugar content as well as high in calories, that could lead to obesity in childhood.
Secondly
, display of
such
deli and high in
frisctos
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fructose

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snakes make their habit to eat outside since it is testy and easily available everywhere. Whenever pupil
go
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goes

The plural verb go does not appear to agree with the singular subject pupil. Consider changing the verb form for subject-verb agreement.

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to school, college it is serviceable right
infront
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in front

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of them and they pick everyday basis which
lead
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leads

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to imbalance and poor diet
,
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apply

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and result in more fat in
body
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the body

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.
For instance
, one of my
friend
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friends

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in when we were in 12th grade used to eat
such
high calories and sweety breakfast every day ,and one day
i
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I

The pronoun I should always be capitalized.

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fell sick. As soon as we reach to
doctor
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the doctor
a doctor

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, it was revealed that the level of hunger and
disturbence
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disturbance

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in
digestive
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the digestive

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system causing
this
problem.
As a
result
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,result

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he
gain
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gains

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heavy weight
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heavyweight

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. In conclusion, in my opinion, stopping keeping
billboard
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billboards

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containing pictures, names and
vision
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visions

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of
such
less healthy menus in schools and colleges can improve the eating habit and
food
selection ideas of scholars.
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