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Writing Samples
Band 7.5

“Some people view teenage conflict with their parents as a necessary part of growing up, whilst others see it as something negative which should be avoided. Discuss both views and give your own opinion.”

#“some #people #conflict #parents #part #whilst
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Conflict
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 exists wherever human relations are present, even more so in a
parent
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-
child
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 relationship. Some view
this
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 as a necessary step towards the maturation of a kid,
while
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 others feel it can be a hindrance to development. I agree with the prior as I believe
conflict
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 brings out novel solutions and possibly growth, and
this
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 essay will explain the same. Conflicts are not abnormal, as when two unique perspectives meet, there ought to be some disagreement.
According to
Linking Words
 a group-formation study conducted by Tolman,
conflict
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 and disagreements are an integral part of learning in a group. Condensing these findings in a family setting, the existence of
conflict
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 between a
parent
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 and a
child
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 can really help the latter grow. When there is disagreement, brainstorming occurs there to find a viable solution.
For instance
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, if a
parent
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 and a
child
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 are at loggerheads as to which career path the latter should opt for, the experience of the
parent
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 and the inquisitiveness, curiosity and outlook towards the future of the
child
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 are pitted against each other. The result is an amalgamation of all these things, which indeed is better than them in their individual sense. It is true that
conflict
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 can
also
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 create a divide between a family. Severe conflicts can lead to detachments and estrangements within family members. But, when it comes to family, there’s always an innate wish to solve problems and arrive at a solution, which is the true essence of
conflict
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 resolution. Conflicts in the teenage years are tumultuous as a
child
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 is in the middle of discovering himself, which may not always conform with what the
parent
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 feels.
Moreover
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, children often tend to lose their way when a
conflict
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 goes out of their control.
As a result
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, they resort to unhealthy indulgences like drug and alcohol use in some cases.
Hence
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, teenage
conflict
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 with their parents is necessary for growing up as it makes a
child
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 better holistically.

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task achievement
Try to provide a balanced view by expanding on the negative side of teenage conflict with specific examples and arguments.
coherence cohesion
Improve transitions between paragraphs to enhance the overall flow of the essay.
introduction conclusion
Make sure your conclusion summarizes both sides of the argument and clearly states your opinion one more time.
task achievement
You have effectively covered both views of the argument and provided your own opinion, which is well-supported by relevant examples.
coherence cohesion
The essay is logically structured with a clear introduction, body paragraphs, and conclusion.
coherence cohesion
The main points are well-supported and elaborated with coherent arguments.

Include an introduction and conclusion

A conclusion is essential for IELTS writing task 2. It is more important than most people realise. You will be penalised for missing a conclusion in your IELTS essay.

The easiest paragraph to write in an essay is the conclusion paragraph. This is because the paragraph mostly contains information that has already been presented in the essay – it is just the repetition of some information written in the introduction paragraph and supporting paragraphs.

The conclusion paragraph only has 3 sentences:

  • Summary
  • Restatement of thesis
  • Prediction or recommendation

Example:

To summarize, a robotic teacher does not have the necessary disciple to properly give instructions to students and actually works to retard the ability of a student to comprehend new lessons. Therefore, it is clear that the idea of running a classroom completely by a machine cannot be supported. After thorough analysis on this subject, it is predicted that the adverse effects of the debate over technology-driven teaching will always be greater than the positive effects, and because of this, classroom teachers will never be substituted for technology.

Start your conclusion with a linking phrase. Here are some examples:

  • In conclusion
  • To conclude
  • To summarize
  • Finally
  • In a nutshell
  • In general

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Topic Vocabulary:
  • Adolescence
  • Parental control
  • Independence
  • Identity
  • Communication skills
  • Negotiation
  • Express themselves
  • Articulating thoughts
  • Disagreement
  • Resilience
  • Cope with conflict
  • Parent-child relationship
  • Emotional rifts
  • Mental health
  • Anxiety
  • Depression
  • Isolation
  • Guidance
  • Boundaries
  • Constructive conflict
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