The best way to reduce traffic accidents is to raise the age limit for younger drivers and to lower the age limit for elderly ones. Do you agree or disagree? Give reasons for your answer and any relevant examples
Nowadays, some
people
believe that more accidents are done by the
teenagers because of their Correct article usage
apply
age
limit and others are like elderly ones. In this
essay, I strongly believe that elder people
’s age
limit to be reduced because of their lack of driving, and less concentration
.
Firstly
, elder people
are really difficult to drive
vehicles due to
the age
factor. Especially, they have some physical challenges to drive
. For instance
, old age
people
drive
vehicle
continuously so they feel very tired, Fix the agreement mistake
vehicles
also
they are unable to control many things. Additionally
, people
who are older age
, they are unable to drive
long distances, it could be more challenging for them to take over.
On the other hand
, elder age
persons have less concentration
due to
their insight problems. For example
, they are working in a transport company, they are carrying goods to other location, it might take more than a day, in this
condition they feel alone, thinking about their families so they could less concentration
while
they drive
a truck or lorry or bus. Moreover
, they cannot sleep because of continuous driving, this
kind of action occurs an
accident and is more risk for their life and others.
Change preposition
in an
To conclude
, I strongly agree that old age
persons are suitable to drive
vehicles because of have less concentration
and awareness of driving due to
their age
factors so the government should take some action to reduce the age
limit for them. While
taking this
action, consequently
we could control and reduce the accidents.Submitted by saravanan.ko2011 on
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coherence cohesion
The introduction and conclusion are present and serve well to state your position and summarize your ideas, but the arguments in between could be more clearly structured. Try to divide your essay into clear paragraphs each with a central theme, backed by examples.
task achievement
While you have provided reasons for your position, they need further development and support. Consider expanding on your examples or arguments to make them more convincing.
task achievement
Avoid generalizations and ensure your examples are more specific or realistic. For instance, not all elderly people have difficulty driving due to age. Statistics or examples of policies from other places could strengthen your argument.
task achievement
You have effectively outlined the reasons for reducing the driving age limit for elderly people, which aligns with the task prompt.
coherence cohesion
Your conclusion summarizes your argument well, reinforcing your stance on the issue.