The best way to reduce traffic accidents is to raise the age limit for younger drivers and to lower the age limit for elderly ones. Do you agree or disagree? Give reasons for your answer and any relevant examples

Nowadays, some
people
believe that more accidents are done by
the
Correct article usage
apply
show examples
teenagers because of their
age
limit and others are like elderly ones. In
this
essay, I strongly believe that elder
people
’s
age
limit to be reduced because of their lack of driving, and less
concentration
.
Firstly
, elder
people
are really difficult to
drive
vehicles
due to
the
age
factor. Especially, they have some physical challenges to
drive
.
For instance
, old
age
people
drive
vehicle
Fix the agreement mistake
vehicles
show examples
continuously so they feel very tired,
also
they are unable to control many things.
Additionally
,
people
who are older
age
, they are unable to
drive
long distances, it could be more challenging for them to take over.
On the other hand
, elder
age
persons have less
concentration
due to
their insight problems.
For example
, they are working in a transport company, they are carrying goods to other location, it might take more than a day, in
this
condition they feel alone, thinking about their families so they could less
concentration
while
they
drive
a truck or lorry or bus.
Moreover
, they cannot sleep because of continuous driving,
this
kind of action occurs
an
Change preposition
in an
show examples
accident and is more risk for their life and others.
To conclude
, I strongly agree that old
age
persons are suitable to
drive
vehicles because of have less
concentration
and awareness of driving
due to
their
age
factors so the government should take some action to reduce the
age
limit for them.
While
taking
this
action,
consequently
we could control and reduce the accidents.
Submitted by saravanan.ko2011 on

Unauthorized use and/or duplication of this material without express and written permission from this site’s author and/or owner is strictly prohibited. Excerpts and links may be used, provided that full and clear credit is given to Writing9 with appropriate and specific direction to the original content.

coherence cohesion
The introduction and conclusion are present and serve well to state your position and summarize your ideas, but the arguments in between could be more clearly structured. Try to divide your essay into clear paragraphs each with a central theme, backed by examples.
task achievement
While you have provided reasons for your position, they need further development and support. Consider expanding on your examples or arguments to make them more convincing.
task achievement
Avoid generalizations and ensure your examples are more specific or realistic. For instance, not all elderly people have difficulty driving due to age. Statistics or examples of policies from other places could strengthen your argument.
task achievement
You have effectively outlined the reasons for reducing the driving age limit for elderly people, which aligns with the task prompt.
coherence cohesion
Your conclusion summarizes your argument well, reinforcing your stance on the issue.

Essentional vocabulary list for IELTS Writing 7+

Learn how to write high-scoring essays with powerful words.
Download Free PDF and start improving you writing skills today!
What to do next:
Look at other essays: