Caring for the children is an important thing of the society. It is suggested that all mothers and fathers should be required to take childcare training courses. To what extent do you agree or disagree.

In
contemporary
Add an article
the contemporary
show examples
world,
childcare
is more important than other works of
parents
. A cluster of like-minded people
voice
Change the verb form
voices
show examples
that training courses of
childcare
are
neccessry
Correct your spelling
necessary
for today's
parents
due to lack of
knowledge
.
However
,
i
Change the capitalization
I
show examples
could not less agree on it owing to some reasons that would be discussed in the upcoming paragraphs. There are most of
reasons
Add an article
the reasons
show examples
why
childcare
is really crucial for mom and dad. The
first
and foremost reason is that
parents
are
more busy
Replace the words
busier
show examples
because of work and busy
sacdule
Correct your spelling
schedule
thats
Correct your spelling
that's
why they do not have more time for
Correct your spelling
children
childrens
Correct your spelling
children
show examples
.
Moreover
, if they want to good health to
Correct your spelling
children
childrens
Correct your spelling
children
show examples
so they have to start
childcare
courses .
As a result
,
childcare
knowledge
is more important for new mothers and fathers .
childcare
centers
Change the spelling
centres
show examples
teach
parents
some easy
way
Fix the agreement mistake
ways
show examples
to
recogonize
Correct your spelling
recognize
about the feelings of budding minds.
secondly
, there
is
Change the verb form
are
show examples
high reasons
of
Change preposition
for
show examples
illiteracy among mothers and fathers.
Beacause
Correct your spelling
Because
they do know about how to feel about the babies feelings what they need .
Furthermore
, if they learn about
childcare
they can give
good
Correct article usage
a good
show examples
future to their babies. Learning
centers
Change the spelling
centres
show examples
will teach to
themxome
Correct your spelling
them some
exercise
Fix the agreement mistake
exercises
show examples
about babies what kind of food
good
Add a missing verb
is good
show examples
for their health . If
Correct your spelling
children
childrens
Correct your spelling
children
show examples
eat
healthly
Correct your spelling
healthy
food they can
servive
Correct your spelling
service
survive
any hazards.
For example
, old
parents
know what kind of food they need and crucial for them but nowadays
parents
need more
knowledge
about
childcare
as well as they can learn about the traditions of our roots. To conclude,
childcare
classes is
boon
Correct article usage
a boon
show examples
for
parents
beacuse
Correct your spelling
because
it is really good for them they can enhance their
knowledge
about
childfrens
Correct your spelling
children's
children
. I
am firmly agree
Change the verb form
firmly agree
show examples
with
this
statement
Submitted by brarraju60 on

Unauthorized use and/or duplication of this material without express and written permission from this site’s author and/or owner is strictly prohibited. Excerpts and links may be used, provided that full and clear credit is given to Writing9 with appropriate and specific direction to the original content.

Fully explain your ideas

To get an excellent score in the IELTS Task 2 writing section, one of the easiest and most effective tips is structuring your writing in the most solid format. A great argument essay structure may be divided to four paragraphs, in which comprises of four sentences (excluding the conclusion paragraph, which comprises of three sentences).

For we to consider an essay structure a great one, it should be looking like this:

  • Paragraph 1 - Introduction
    • Sentence 1 - Background statement
    • Sentence 2 - Detailed background statement
    • Sentence 3 - Thesis
    • Sentence 4 - Outline sentence
  • Paragraph 2 - First supporting paragraph
    • Sentence 1 - Topic sentence
    • Sentence 2 - Example
    • Sentence 3 - Discussion
    • Sentence 4 - Conclusion
  • Paragraph 3 - Second supporting paragraph
    • Sentence 1 - Topic sentence
    • Sentence 2 - Example
    • Sentence 3 - Discussion
    • Sentence 4 - Conclusion
  • Paragraph 4 - Conclusion
    • Sentence 1 - Summary
    • Sentence 2 - Restatement of thesis
    • Sentence 3 - Prediction or recommendation

Our recommended essay structure above comprises of fifteen (15) sentences, which will make your essay approximately 250 to 275 words.

Discover more tips in The Ultimate Guide to Get a Target Band Score of 7+ »— a book that's free for 🚀 Premium users.

What to do next:
Look at other essays: