IELTS Writing Correction Service
Writing Samples
Band 4.5

As computers are being used more and more in education, there will be soon no role for teachers in the classroom. Discuss both the views and give your own opinion.

Technology is widely used and is available everywhere. Having a
computer
Use synonyms
 has been one of the minimum requirements when studying and there is a notion that the role of the teacher will disappear immediately from the classroom. In my opinion, though it is establishing, that may not be successful as the domain knowledge is not the only thing which has to
gain
Wrong verb form
be gained
show examples
 from a teacher; there are a lot of manners, disciplines, and conventions to get. In
this
Linking Words
 essay, I'm going to elaborate on two sides and convince you why I stand out saying schoolmasters can never be disregarded. On the one hand, children are heavily using computers, tabs,
mobile
Correct word choice
and mobile
show examples
 phones for their educational purposes because
with
Add the comma(s)
, with
show examples
 the pandemic situation all over the world, kids are compelled to be online and succeed themselves with the help of their parents more than college instructors.
For instance
Linking Words
, my son who is learning in
pre-school
Correct your spelling
preschool
show examples
will be taught by his teachers in
zoom
Capitalize word
Zoom
show examples
 meetings and I have to follow up with him at working always. The involvement of me and the
computer
Use synonyms
 has been the most tenacious facts,
while
Linking Words
 he is learning. But through my experience,
it
Correct pronoun usage
I
show examples
 could say that the way he gets is completely different from what if he stayed at school.
That is
Linking Words
 why I would declare that schoolmasters can never be lost.
On the other hand
Linking Words
, students will feel more comfortable working with teachers at schools because they are given special training on how to work with youngsters.
For example
Linking Words
, whenever a kid
trying
Wrong verb form
tries
show examples
 to make a tale with his parents and
computer
Use synonyms
, it will encourage him to become bad to worst.
Moreover
Linking Words
, the child may feel very uncomfortable and disappointed. When he is doing it with his teacher, he will be able to get that within seconds
promptly
Correct quantifier usage
more promptly
show examples
 than ever.
Although
Linking Words
 the
computer
Use synonyms
 has all the resources online, it
is
Verb problem
does
show examples
 not with the appropriate human
resource
Fix the agreement mistake
resources
show examples
.
Therefore
Linking Words
 more students are getting rid of studying online nowadays. In conclusion, even though the advancements
of
Change preposition
in
show examples
 technology have become more crucial
currently
Rephrase
apply
show examples
, it has been a controversial topic
that
Correct pronoun usage
apply
show examples
whether
the
Correct article usage
apply
show examples
teachers can be replaced by them and in
this
Linking Words
 essay, I have successfully argued both sides and convinced my perspective clearly.

Unauthorized use and/or duplication of this material without express and written permission from this site's author and/or owner is strictly prohibited. Excerpts and links may be used, provided that full and clear credit is given to Writing9 with appropriate and specific direction to the original content.

coherence cohesion
Improve the logical structure by organizing your ideas more coherently and linking them together more effectively.
task achievement
Ensure that your essay fully addresses the task prompt, and provide clearer and more comprehensive ideas with relevant examples.
Topic Vocabulary:
  • Digital learning
  • Personalized guidance
  • Blended learning
  • Remote education
  • Emotional intelligence
  • Human interaction
  • Cultural dimension
  • Mentorship
  • Critical thinking
  • Educational technology
  • Learning outcomes
  • Role model
What to do next:
Look at other essays: