IELTS Writing Correction Service
Writing Samples
Band 6

Some people believe that traveling to other places is not essential to learn about different cultures as one can gain knowledge from books, movies, and the internet. To what extent do you agree or disagree?

#people #places #cultures #gain #books #movies #internet
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In
this
 contemporary era, some individuals believe that learning about different
cultures
 can be gained from
books
,
movies
 and the
internet
.
Therefore
, others argue that travelling to other places is essential to
learn
Wrong verb form
learning
show examples
 about different
cultures
 rather than other
sources
. In
this
 essay, I will discuss both views and I will draw my personal conclusion. On the one hand, there are two main reasons why some individuals agree that an individual can learn about other
cultures
 from
books
,
movies
 and the
internet
. The first reason is that these resources are cheaper than travelling to other places.
Therefore
, the other
sources
 can help individuals to gain knowledge easily and it saves more money. What is more, these
sources
 can be available on the
internet
,
books
 and
movies
. What is more, using any materials is suitable for the majority of people either the travel is more expensive and it takes more time.
On the other hand
, others disagree with
this
 statement because they believe that travelling to other countries is increasing their knowledge rather than reading
books
, watching
movies
 or using
Internet
Add an article
the Internet
show examples
.
Thus
, they think that these resources may give them incorrect information.
For example
, When an individual travels to other countries, you will discover more facts about other
cultures
while
 dealing with people. In Conclusion, there is no doubt that travelling and other
sources
 can give people a chance to know about other countries and their
cultures
.
Thus
, I strongly agree with
this
 statement because other resources may gain more knowledge and it saves more time and money.
Submitted by um.maktoum2014 on

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relevant specific examples
Strengthen your arguments with more specific examples and evidence. For instance, detailing specific online sources that offer comprehensive cultural insights, or sharing personal travel experiences with exact cultural practices could greatly enhance your essay.
clear comprehensive ideas
Work on sentence structure and grammar. For instance, the phrase "either the travel is more expensive and it takes more time" could be rephrased to "since travel is often more expensive and time-consuming."
introduction conclusion present
Try to refine your conclusion to more directly reflect the main points made in your body paragraphs. This will leave the reader with a more unified sense of your argument.
introduction conclusion present
Your essay has a clear introduction and conclusion, offering a well-rounded response to the prompt.
complete response
You effectively present both sides of the argument, showing a balanced view about the topic.

Fully explain your ideas

To get an excellent score in the IELTS Task 2 writing section, one of the easiest and most effective tips is structuring your writing in the most solid format. A great argument essay structure may be divided to four paragraphs, in which comprises of four sentences (excluding the conclusion paragraph, which comprises of three sentences).

For we to consider an essay structure a great one, it should be looking like this:

  • Paragraph 1 - Introduction
    • Sentence 1 - Background statement
    • Sentence 2 - Detailed background statement
    • Sentence 3 - Thesis
    • Sentence 4 - Outline sentence
  • Paragraph 2 - First supporting paragraph
    • Sentence 1 - Topic sentence
    • Sentence 2 - Example
    • Sentence 3 - Discussion
    • Sentence 4 - Conclusion
  • Paragraph 3 - Second supporting paragraph
    • Sentence 1 - Topic sentence
    • Sentence 2 - Example
    • Sentence 3 - Discussion
    • Sentence 4 - Conclusion
  • Paragraph 4 - Conclusion
    • Sentence 1 - Summary
    • Sentence 2 - Restatement of thesis
    • Sentence 3 - Prediction or recommendation

Our recommended essay structure above comprises of fifteen (15) sentences, which will make your essay approximately 250 to 275 words.

Discover more tips in The Ultimate Guide to Get a Target Band Score of 7+ »— a book that's free for 🚀 Premium users.

Topic Vocabulary:
  • first-hand experience
  • immersive learning
  • sensory experiences
  • authenticity
  • cultural nuances
  • media depictions
  • interactive learning
  • real-life experiences
  • human connections
  • cross-cultural understanding
  • tangible experiences
  • preconceived notions
  • cultural immersion
  • informational accuracy
What to do next:
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