We cannot help everyone in the world that needs help, so we should only be concerned with our own communities and countries. To what extent do you agree or disagree with this statement?

It is commonly held that
individuals
need not be concerned about changes unless they are improbable to have a direct effect on
our
Correct pronoun usage
their
show examples
life.
Nevertheless
, it is imperative that
individuals
possess knowledge of events that transpired in foreign
nations
. Acquiring knowledge of global events enables
nations
to offer assistance to one another and devise answers to their own challenges.
Initially
, becoming informed about global affairs enables
individuals
to provide assistance to others in foreign countries. Instances of warfare, infectious diseases, and natural disasters occur often in various locations worldwide. By being attentive to these occurrences, it is feasible to distribute resources in order to aid others at times of necessity. An example of significant destruction occurred during the recent conflict between Ukraine and Russia.
Nevertheless
, prompt action from international organizations and aid from other
nations
facilitated Ukraine in saving additional victims.
Furthermore
, they incurred significant losses.
Furthermore
, witnessing these situations can enable the government to discern their own approach to resolving the problem more effectively in the case that it occurs inside their jurisdiction. Many societies operate in a similar manner,
hence
understanding the outcome in one society can offer
individuals
a more comprehensive explanation. COVID-19 is currently the most lethal epidemic disease in the modern world. Governments should identify and analyze
nations
that have effectively managed the virus in order to minimize the impact. Ultimately, establishing a well-supported global initiative will provide
individuals
with an opportunity to take pride in assisting others and amass useful knowledge for their future professional
endeavors
Change the spelling
endeavours
show examples
. It is crucial for
individuals
to establish a maintenance plan for global events
due to
these factors.
Submitted by thanhannguyen2209 on

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coherence cohesion
You've effectively communicated your viewpoint, showing a clear understanding of the topic. To enhance clarity and engagement, aim to vary sentence structures and use transitions smoothly between ideas.
task achievement
To strengthen your argument, consider incorporating more nuanced examples and a wider range of perspectives. This will add depth to your essay and showcase a more analytical approach to the topic.
coherence cohesion
Your introduction and conclusion are well-crafted, effectively framing your argument and providing a clear summary of your main points.
task achievement
You've utilized specific examples like the conflict between Ukraine and Russia and the COVID-19 pandemic to illustrate your points, which significantly strengthens your argument.

Fully explain your ideas

To get an excellent score in the IELTS Task 2 writing section, one of the easiest and most effective tips is structuring your writing in the most solid format. A great argument essay structure may be divided to four paragraphs, in which comprises of four sentences (excluding the conclusion paragraph, which comprises of three sentences).

For we to consider an essay structure a great one, it should be looking like this:

  • Paragraph 1 - Introduction
    • Sentence 1 - Background statement
    • Sentence 2 - Detailed background statement
    • Sentence 3 - Thesis
    • Sentence 4 - Outline sentence
  • Paragraph 2 - First supporting paragraph
    • Sentence 1 - Topic sentence
    • Sentence 2 - Example
    • Sentence 3 - Discussion
    • Sentence 4 - Conclusion
  • Paragraph 3 - Second supporting paragraph
    • Sentence 1 - Topic sentence
    • Sentence 2 - Example
    • Sentence 3 - Discussion
    • Sentence 4 - Conclusion
  • Paragraph 4 - Conclusion
    • Sentence 1 - Summary
    • Sentence 2 - Restatement of thesis
    • Sentence 3 - Prediction or recommendation

Our recommended essay structure above comprises of fifteen (15) sentences, which will make your essay approximately 250 to 275 words.

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