Some people believe that allowing children to make their own choices on everyday matters (such as food, clothes, and entertainment) is likely to result in a society of individuals who only think about their own wishes. Other people believe that it is important for children to make their decisions about matters that affect them. Discuss both these views and give your opinion.
In general, people have
different
outlook on how they would raise their Add an article
a different
children
. Some consider that encouraging youngster to achieve their own wishes may lead to selfishness, while
others think that it is vital for them to start making their own personal decisions. While
I acknowledge that supporting minors to follow their own wishes may lead to greediness, I would argue that helping children
build up their confidence with the choices they make would help build up their confidence in the future.
Some people believe that complying to
Change preposition
with
children
’s own preferences would likely produce a self-centered
individual who just Change the spelling
self-centred
think
of their own interest. Change the verb form
thinks
Due to
parents’ leniency, children
might think that the world revolves around them as most of their desires have been granted and will not be unchanged. Consequently
, as they mature their focus are
most likely Correct subject-verb agreement
is
to
their own self-interest without minding the effect on others.
Despite the notion that supporting youngsters’ own Change preposition
on
decision
may mature to be a selfish individual, I believe Fix the agreement mistake
decisions
this
could be solve
by strict control and guidance of the guardian which could lead Change the verb form
be solved
children
to enhance their mind set
to trust their own thoughts as they mature. I believe it is crucial for every individual to develop a good belief at a young age to develop Correct your spelling
mindset
independency
, which makes everyone unique with their own point of view. Briefly, instilling a good mentality Replace the word
independence
to
the young ones would foster a great impact on their growth.
Change preposition
in
To conclude
, while
others think that allowing children
’s own picks could lead to self-centeredness, I believe that helping children
develop their confidence to stand for their own choices will be
of greater impact Verb problem
have
to
them as they become Change preposition
on
an
Correct article usage
apply
adult
.Fix the agreement mistake
adults
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logical structure
Ensure you structure your essay with a clear introduction, body paragraphs, and conclusion. Your essay exhibits some structural elements but could benefit from clearer and more distinct paragraphs which expressly outline each separate point of view and your own opinion.
introduction conclusion present
In your introduction and conclusion, make sure to restate the question and clearly present your thesis statement and summary. Your essay meets this partially but could be more direct and purposeful in summarizing the views and stating your position.
supported main points
Expand upon your main points with specific examples and explanations. Your essay addresses the main points but lacks detailed examples and explanations to reinforce your arguments. Provide more concrete illustrations to underpin your points and relate them to the question.
complete response
Address all parts of the task, ensuring your response is relevant and covers all aspects of the prompt. Your essay touches upon the necessary components of the task but could provide a more thorough and balanced discussion of both perspectives, as well as a more significant elucidation of your own viewpoint.
clear comprehensive ideas
Strive to present ideas clearly and comprehensively. While your essay presents its ideas fairly clearly, it can benefit from more detailed development and justifications for the opinions given. Aim for clarity by explicitly linking your arguments to the question and avoiding overly general statements.
relevant specific examples
Incorporate relevant and specific examples to substantiate your arguments. Your essay lacks the use of specific, detailed examples to support the claims made. Employ relevant anecdotes, facts, or studies to give weight to your arguments and demonstrate a deeper understanding of the topic.
Fully explain your ideas
To get an excellent score in the IELTS Task 2 writing section, one of the easiest and most effective tips is structuring your writing in the most solid format. A great argument essay structure may be divided to four paragraphs, in which comprises of four sentences (excluding the conclusion paragraph, which comprises of three sentences).
For we to consider an essay structure a great one, it should be looking like this:
- Paragraph 1 - Introduction
- Sentence 1 - Background statement
- Sentence 2 - Detailed background statement
- Sentence 3 - Thesis
- Sentence 4 - Outline sentence
- Paragraph 2 - First supporting paragraph
- Sentence 1 - Topic sentence
- Sentence 2 - Example
- Sentence 3 - Discussion
- Sentence 4 - Conclusion
- Paragraph 3 - Second supporting paragraph
- Sentence 1 - Topic sentence
- Sentence 2 - Example
- Sentence 3 - Discussion
- Sentence 4 - Conclusion
- Paragraph 4 - Conclusion
- Sentence 1 - Summary
- Sentence 2 - Restatement of thesis
- Sentence 3 - Prediction or recommendation
Our recommended essay structure above comprises of fifteen (15) sentences, which will make your essay approximately 250 to 275 words.