IELTS Writing Correction Service /
Writing Samples /
Band 2

You recently spent a night in a hotel and had to put up with a great deal of noise very early in the morning because of a faulty central heating system. The manager promised to contact you regarding compensation but you still haven't heard from it Describe the problem at the hotel Explain what the manager had said at the time Say what you want the manager to do

#night #hotel #noise #system #manager #contact #compensation #haven #time
Dear Sir or Madam, The reason why
l
 am addressing you is that
l
 want to inform
about
Correct pronoun usage
you about
show examples
inconvenience
Correct article usage
the inconvenience
show examples
 and lack of central heating
systems
 in your
hotel
 and
also
l
 want
to
Change preposition
apply
show examples
the
manager
 to
fixed
Change the verb
fix
show examples
 the central heating
systems
. I have been living for two weeks in your
hotel
 and
l
 have been suffering from noise pollution. Some heating
systems
 are not working in the
hotel
,
as
Correct word choice
and as
show examples
 a result, all people disagree
from
Change preposition
with
show examples
this
 condition. The problem is not the people or
hotel
 but there are older heating devices. I
explain
Wrong verb form
explained
show examples
to
Correct pronoun usage
this to
show examples
manager
Add an article
the manager
a manager
show examples
 about
this
 situation and he promised
this
 heating device
instead
 he
going
Verb problem
buying
show examples
 to buy regarding new heating but
manager
Correct article usage
the manager
show examples
doesn't
Verb problem
hasn't
show examples
this
events
Fix the agreement mistake
event
show examples
 yet. I want
to
Change preposition
apply
show examples
the
manager
 to
do
Verb problem
solve
show examples
this
 problem. In my opinion,
manager
Add an article
the manager
a manager
show examples
need
Change the verb form
needs
show examples
 to purchase new central heating
systems
 because now it is very old and faulty central heating
systems
. I hope you will understand
this
 disturbing situation and will give a
help
Change the verb form
helping
show examples
 hand to solve
this
 noise issue in the
hotel
. Thank you for your attention. Yours faithfully, Bakhriddinova Sitora
Submitted by soglomovsarvar on

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Task Achievement
For task response, it's essential to fully address all components of the task. Be sure to clearly describe the inconvenience, explicitly refer to what the manager said, and clearly state what you want the manager to do. Adding more detail and directly connecting your points to the hotel experience could enhance clarity and task achievement.
Coherence Cohesion
To improve coherence and cohesion, work on structuring your essay more logically. Use paragraphs effectively to separate different ideas or points. Consider introducing the issue in the first paragraph, detailing your interactions with the manager in the second, and in the third, clearly stating what resolution you expect. Using linking words such as 'Furthermore,' 'Moreover,' or 'Consequently' can help with the flow of ideas.
General
Proofread your writing to correct grammar and spelling mistakes. This will make your argument clearer and your essay easier to follow. Additionally, working on varying your sentence structure and using a wider range of vocabulary can make your writing more engaging and effective.

Fully explain your ideas

To get an excellent score in the IELTS Task 2 writing section, one of the easiest and most effective tips is structuring your writing in the most solid format. A great argument essay structure may be divided to four paragraphs, in which comprises of four sentences (excluding the conclusion paragraph, which comprises of three sentences).

For we to consider an essay structure a great one, it should be looking like this:

  • Paragraph 1 - Introduction
    • Sentence 1 - Background statement
    • Sentence 2 - Detailed background statement
    • Sentence 3 - Thesis
    • Sentence 4 - Outline sentence
  • Paragraph 2 - First supporting paragraph
    • Sentence 1 - Topic sentence
    • Sentence 2 - Example
    • Sentence 3 - Discussion
    • Sentence 4 - Conclusion
  • Paragraph 3 - Second supporting paragraph
    • Sentence 1 - Topic sentence
    • Sentence 2 - Example
    • Sentence 3 - Discussion
    • Sentence 4 - Conclusion
  • Paragraph 4 - Conclusion
    • Sentence 1 - Summary
    • Sentence 2 - Restatement of thesis
    • Sentence 3 - Prediction or recommendation

Our recommended essay structure above comprises of fifteen (15) sentences, which will make your essay approximately 250 to 275 words.

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