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Writing Samples
Band 6

In the past, people stored knowledge in books. Nowadays people stored knowledge on the Internet. Do you think the advantages outweigh the disadvantages?

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In recent years, it has been witnessed the augmenting advancement of technology incessantly and the advent of cutting-edge technology
by
Change preposition
with
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 every passing day. Earlier books were the only source of knowledge but now people are sharing their experience on the
Internet
Use synonyms
 as it
becomes
Wrong verb form
has become
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 an easy method of conveying the message and more convenient as compared to reading a book. I believe the benefits of it outweigh the drawbacks.
To begin
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 with, Reading a book requires a lot of time and effort
such
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 as carrying it
along with
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 oneself.Substituting
this
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 with a mobile phone or tablet with an
Internet
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 connection is more beneficial.On the
Use synonyms
Internet
Add a comma
Internet,
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 one can find unlimited study material and even they can store it in Clouds which are either free of cost or
charges
Correct subject-verb agreement
charge
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 a small monthly fee.
Furthermore
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, it is easy to access the
internet
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due to
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 its user-friendly platform.
This
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also
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 eliminates the weight we carry for books. All the books can be stored on a single palm-sized screen.
Moreover
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, the sharing of material on the
internet
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 is easier.
For example
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, one can share their documents with friends and family by just sending the link.
On the other hand
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, there are some disadvantages as well. Learning something on bright screens
affect
Correct subject-verb agreement
affects
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 the eyes of the reader.
According to
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 a survey , more people
gets
Correct subject-verb agreement
get
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 affected by eye-sight problems after sitting in front of desktops. In conclusion , after deliberating
the
Change preposition
on the
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 boon and bane of the
Internet
Use synonyms
 for storing knowledge.
Although
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 there are repercussions of selecting a digital platform over paperback still the advantages outweigh the disadvantages.

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task response
Ensure all points directly relate to the prompt. Consider providing more specific examples to support your arguments. Pay attention to transitions between paragraphs to improve coherence and cohesion.
coherence cohesion
Your introduction and conclusion are well-presented. Ensure each paragraph is linked logically to the next to improve cohesion. Consider using linking words and phrases to guide the reader through your arguments.
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