IELTS Writing Correction Service
Writing Samples
Band 7.5

The growth of online shopping will one day lead to all shops in towns and cities closing. Do you agree or disagree?

#growth #shops #towns #cities
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While
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 some
people
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 believe that choosing
friends
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 with the same point of view is the best decision, others are thinking is better to have different opinions. In my
opinion
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, I believe that having
friends
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 with different opinions is the key to success.
This
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 essay will discuss both views and argue my
opinion
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 in the ensuing paragraphs. On the one hand, many
people
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 select their
friends
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 with the same thinking alignment because they find it easier to deal with, having the same
opinion
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 and avoiding confronting.
Furthermore
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, they prefer talking same topics and having the same thoughts about them,
such
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 as political positions. A recent quiz has shown that 87% of the population of Argentina avoids meetings with
friends
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 with different opinions because creates uncomfortable moments.
On the other hand
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, others believe that the best way to improve themself is by having a different way of thinking, which I totally agree with. The Best way to have, not only personal but
also
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 professional success is by having
people
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 surrounding you who disagree with your
opinion
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, forcing yourself to think in other's directions, leading to the development of new thoughts.
Which
Correct pronoun usage
It
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 would not be possible to share the same
opinion
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.
For instance
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, the creation of the engine with eight valves in V shape would not have been possible if Ford had not had
people
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 around telling him that it was impossible to achieve.
To sum up
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, even though there are some who prefer not to deal with uncomfortable moments with
people
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 who think differently. Taking everything into consideration, I agree with others who want to achieve improvement in life having
people
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 around thinking from different perspectives, making you achieve things that have never been achieved before.
Submitted by jimeilaria on

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grammatical accuracy
Avoid minor grammatical errors such as 'themself' instead of 'themselves' and 'talking same topics' instead of 'talking about the same topics.'
examples
Expand slightly on examples to ensure they strongly support your main points.
sentence structure
Enhance the complexity of your sentences to demonstrate a higher command of the language.
structure
Clear introduction and conclusion which effectively frame the essay.
task response
Thoroughly addresses both viewpoints and provides a compelling argument for your position.
structure
The layout of the essay is logical, with each paragraph dedicated to a specific point or counterpoint.
Topic Vocabulary:
  • e-commerce
  • brick-and-mortar
  • physical stores
  • online retailers
  • retail apocalypse
  • digital economy
  • consumer behavior
  • sustainability
  • commercial landscape
  • high-street
  • consumer trends
  • augmented reality
  • showrooms
  • carbon footprint
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