IELTS Writing Correction Service /
Writing Samples /
Band 6.5

Some people use social media to keep in touch with other people and news events. Do you think advantages of this out weighs the disadvantages?

#people #media #touch #news #events
One of the most conspicuous trends of today's globalized world is the Internet. Few citizens use social platforms to keep in connecting with other citizens and new events. There are both benefits and drawbacks to
this
 notion. Howbeit, I am of the opinion that the advantages/disadvantages of social
news
 outweigh the disadvantages.I will delineate the rationales in the ensuing paragraphs.
First
 and foremost, let me commence by stating, the most preponderant aspect associated with that, there are compelling reasons, why population are favouring that, it is very useful to keep in contact with family members, relatives and friends.
Firstly
, Nowadays, the community are going out of the country for their higher education so it is very advantageous to keep in feeling with family through social
news
.
For instance
, now my cousin is studying in Canada for
further
 education so he always calls me every Sunday through WhatsApp. It is very helpful for him because in Canada no one our family member is living there
therefore
, we can touch by the videocall. It is possible because of social
media
.
Secondly
, If parents go for their work or job
then
 through social
media
 parents can talks with their children in worktimes. Parents can work with the relaxation. Another pivotal aspect associated with
this
 argument is that, At presents days,
people
 use social
media
 in the wrong way. From the
,
Remove the comma
apply
show examples
internet society can stalk anybody and it is very dangerous for their personal
life
. For illustrate, On Instagram ,apps
people
 can see any photos and any biodata of that person, If any person hacks that account and all
this
 is possible because of social
media
.
Moreover
, when family keep in touch through social
media
 those
people
 can not interact with others in real soul and the emotion with that crowd is no more. In reality,
life
 emotion is very strong and better than social
media
 emotion. In-Network
media
, mostly
news
 events or
news
 can be fake because in social
media
 any
people
 write anything and it's wrongs
news
. In conclusion, all in, all to amalgamate all the points discussed above, it can be recapitulated that, social
media
 is very useful in everyone
life
. some
people
 can use it in
a
Correct article usage
the
show examples
 wrong way and its disadvantages to their
life
. I think that it is boon social
media
 allows
people
 to update and connect with their relatives and surrounding
people
.
Submitted by nencypatel7218 on

Unauthorized use and/or duplication of this material without express and written permission from this site’s author and/or owner is strictly prohibited. Excerpts and links may be used, provided that full and clear credit is given to Writing9 with appropriate and specific direction to the original content.

Fully explain your ideas

To get an excellent score in the IELTS Task 2 writing section, one of the easiest and most effective tips is structuring your writing in the most solid format. A great argument essay structure may be divided to four paragraphs, in which comprises of four sentences (excluding the conclusion paragraph, which comprises of three sentences).

For we to consider an essay structure a great one, it should be looking like this:

  • Paragraph 1 - Introduction
    • Sentence 1 - Background statement
    • Sentence 2 - Detailed background statement
    • Sentence 3 - Thesis
    • Sentence 4 - Outline sentence
  • Paragraph 2 - First supporting paragraph
    • Sentence 1 - Topic sentence
    • Sentence 2 - Example
    • Sentence 3 - Discussion
    • Sentence 4 - Conclusion
  • Paragraph 3 - Second supporting paragraph
    • Sentence 1 - Topic sentence
    • Sentence 2 - Example
    • Sentence 3 - Discussion
    • Sentence 4 - Conclusion
  • Paragraph 4 - Conclusion
    • Sentence 1 - Summary
    • Sentence 2 - Restatement of thesis
    • Sentence 3 - Prediction or recommendation

Our recommended essay structure above comprises of fifteen (15) sentences, which will make your essay approximately 250 to 275 words.

Discover more tips in The Ultimate Guide to Get a Target Band Score of 7+ »— a book that's free for 🚀 Premium users.

What to do next:
Look at other essays: