IELTS Writing Correction Service
Writing Samples
Band 7

Some people say that computer games are bad for children by all means, others believe that these games are contributing to children’s development. Discuss both views and give your own opinion.

"
Computer
Use synonyms
games
Use synonyms
 lead several demerits to young
people
Use synonyms
", said critics.
In contrast
Linking Words
, some
people
Use synonyms
 accept that PC
games
Use synonyms
 can improve children in several terms
such
Linking Words
 as cognitive, social, and interested.
Kids
Use synonyms
 are always prohibited from playing
games
Use synonyms
 because adults believe that there are a lot of consequences if their offsprings become addicted, especially being aggressive
people
Use synonyms
. Playing online
games
Use synonyms
 with friends, it is commonly seen that young
people
Use synonyms
, particularly teens, say rude words while playing due to the fact that they are going to lose points. Due to
this
Linking Words
, many parents are worried that will their
kids
Use synonyms
 become offensive
people
Use synonyms
, and have fragile emotions, in the worst case is depression. ,
,
Change the punctuation
apply
show examples
Linking Words
Moreover
Add a comma
,Moreover
show examples
 in some cases, youngster pester their parents to purchase them the game items which is quite high.
Subsequently
Linking Words
, young
people
Use synonyms
 will not learn how to accumulate money. Indeed, the disadvantages of
computer
Use synonyms
 game addiction do not only bring fewer terolances but
also
Linking Words
 myopia. Currently, we can apparently see that more than half of students wear glasses. The academician reveals that the major factor is from spending too much time in front of screens. Unfortunately, there are long term effects, which are eyes diseases and vision issues.
On the other hand
Linking Words
, there are several boons in playing
games
Use synonyms
. Interestingly, some categories of
games
Use synonyms
,
such
Linking Words
 as puzzles or quiz, assist in improving
kids
Use synonyms
 the cognitive skills, particularly in mathematics, because they have to solve the problems in order.
Additionally
Linking Words
, famous in teens, survival PC
games
Use synonyms
such
Linking Words
 as PubG or Counter Strikes
also
Linking Words
 create good friendships. These
games
Use synonyms
 require teamwork, so
kids
Use synonyms
 can learn how to brainstorm to achieve their goals and acknowledge other ideas. Interestingly, they can join the E-Sport competition, which offers a massive amount of prizes
such
Linking Words
 as money or undergraduate scholarships. For ,example my friends who are talented in
computer
Use synonyms
games
Use synonyms
, won the
first
Linking Words
 prize and conceived the scholarships at the IT program at the college. To summarise, in my opinion, enjoying PC
games
Use synonyms
 does not bring consequences to children a lot of parents have a limit for them, for ,example restricted times.
Furthermore
Linking Words
, guardians should encourage what they like because
computer
Use synonyms
games
Use synonyms
 create them education, friendship ,and career.

Unauthorized use and/or duplication of this material without express and written permission from this site's author and/or owner is strictly prohibited. Excerpts and links may be used, provided that full and clear credit is given to Writing9 with appropriate and specific direction to the original content.

Your opinion

Don’t put your opinion unless you are asked to give it.

If the question asks what you think, you MUST give your opinion to get a good score.

Don’t leave your opinion until the conclusion.

Here are examples of instructions that require you to give your opinion:

...do you agree or disagree?...do you think...?...your opinion...?

Discover more tips in The Ultimate Guide to Get a Target Band Score of 7+ »- a book that's free for 🚀 Premium users.

What to do next:
Look at other essays: