The growing number of overweight people is putting a strain on the health care system in an effort to deal with the health issues involved. Some people think that the best way to deal with this problem is to introduce more physical education lessons in the school curriculum. To what extent do you agree or disagree?

The increasing rate of obese folks is putting a strain on the hospitals in an effort to tackle
with
Change preposition
apply
show examples
the health challenges involved. Most
people
believe that the best way to arrest
this problems
Change the determiner
this problem
these problems
show examples
is to
introduced
Change the form of the verb
introduce
show examples
a lot of physical education classes in the school curriculum. I completely disagree that more physical education tutorials in school
brochure
Fix the agreement mistake
brochures
show examples
will reduce the problems of obesity.
Firstly
, to reduce the workloads on the hospital settings from fat
people
is for the government to put more tax on fast food restaurants. The number of
fast food
Add a hyphen
fast-food
show examples
joints has increased over the years due to laziness and high patronage from the public, and
this
food contains
high
Add an article
a high
show examples
level of cholesterol that causes obesity and other diseases.
In addition
, government agencies should plreduceringent
tax
Correct article usage
a tax
show examples
on
such
meals to discourage
people
from purchasing them.
For example
, in the
last
decades, the growing rate of obese folks in India has plummeted drastically, because the parliament has passed a law to prevent high consumption of junk
foods
and their production.
As a result
, India is leading the campaigns against overweight globally.
Hence
,
this
has reduced the pressure on the clinical settings in India significantly.
Secondly
, the proportion of weighty citizens can be reduced by encouraging schools to teach more on healthy diets. A healthy balanced diet is very important for the well-being of individuals and should be taught in schools. More so, media houses should publicize more on green
foods
and their importance, as it is very necessary to maintain the blood cholesterol levels.
For instance
, in 2019, in Ghana, many Institutions started taking courses on healthy
foods
and adequate diets, after few years the number of bucket-shaped
people
dropped significantly.
Therefore
, proper education on meals and more adverts on adequate
foods
will help prevent overweight. In conclusion, the high level of fat in folks has put more pressure on the health care systems, I believed that high tariffs should place on junk and the media should educate the citizens on the benefits of Good diets.
Submitted by Emmanuelodachi on

Unauthorized use and/or duplication of this material without express and written permission from this site’s author and/or owner is strictly prohibited. Excerpts and links may be used, provided that full and clear credit is given to Writing9 with appropriate and specific direction to the original content.

Essentional vocabulary list for IELTS Writing 7+

Learn how to write high-scoring essays with powerful words.
Download Free PDF and start improving you writing skills today!
Topic Vocabulary:
  • obesity rates
  • health care system
  • physical education
  • instill
  • long term
  • raise awareness
  • healthier lifestyle choices
  • nutritional education
  • active transport
  • quality of instruction
  • facilities and equipment
  • diet control initiatives
  • community sports programs
What to do next:
Look at other essays: