Museum and Art Galleries should concentrate on work that show history and culture of their own country rather than work of the other part in the world.To what extent do you agree or disagree?

Mesuem
Correct your spelling
Museum

The word Mesuem is not in our dictionary. If you’re sure this spelling is correct, you can add it to your personal dictionary to prevent future alerts.

is the place where the ancient stuff
were
Change the verb form
was

The plural verb were does not appear to agree with the singular subject stuff. Consider changing the verb form for subject-verb agreement.

show examples
kept and shown to tell the story about
a
Remove the article
apply

The indefinite article, a, may be redundant when used with the uncountable noun history in your sentence. Consider removing it.

show examples
history
. It is controversial that the nation art galleries should more focus on presenting only the national
history
and
culture
compared to showing the story of other interesting things of other countries in the world. In my opinion, I totally agree that the
meseum
Correct your spelling
museum

The word meseum is not in our dictionary. If you’re sure this spelling is correct, you can add it to your personal dictionary to prevent future alerts.

should show their particular own historical and cultural issues due to promoting tourists, and The
first
reason why the national art galleries should concentrate only
their
Change preposition
on their

It seems that preposition use may be incorrect here.

show examples
own stuff is a
tourist
attraction. As
foriegners
Correct your spelling
foreigners

The word foriegners is not in our dictionary. If you’re sure this spelling is correct, you can add it to your personal dictionary to prevent future alerts.

have to travel to the place in order to visit
such
a unique museum, which is solely located in that country, the
tourist
sector of the particular country can generate enormous income from
tourist
.
For example
, according to the information from
the
Correct article usage
apply

Your article usage with the geographic name Thailand may be incorrect.

show examples
Thailand's
tourist
sector, 80% of
tourist
Fix the agreement mistake
tourists

It seems that tourist may not agree in number with other words in this phrase.

show examples
come to Thailand due to visiting Wat
phra
Change the capitalization
Phra

It appears that the word phra may be a proper noun in this context. Consider capitalizing the word.

show examples
kaew
Change the capitalization
Kaew

It appears that the word kaew may be a proper noun in this context. Consider capitalizing the word.

show examples
,
Remove the comma
apply

It appears that you have an unnecessary comma in a compound predicate. Consider removing it.

show examples
and can generate enormous income as
tourist
Fix the agreement mistake
tourists

It seems that tourist may not agree in number with other words in this phrase.

show examples
spend
spend
Remove the redundancy
apply

Oops! It appears that you typed spend twice in a row. Consider deleting one of them.

show examples
their money buying food, booking hotels, and doing other activities.
Therefore
, making
museam
Correct your spelling
museum

The word museam is not in our dictionary. If you’re sure this spelling is correct, you can add it to your personal dictionary to prevent future alerts.

as
Change preposition
apply

It seems that preposition use may be incorrect here.

show examples
a unique place to visit can be beneficial to the
tourist
sector.
Moreover
, another reason for concentrating only
our
Change preposition
on our

It seems that preposition use may be incorrect here.

show examples
cultural things is to conserve the nation
history
and
culture
for the young generation.
For example
, the student can learn how to cook
the
Correct article usage
apply

It seems that article use may be incorrect here.

show examples
traditional Thai foods
,
Remove the comma
apply

It appears that you have an unnecessary comma in a compound predicate. Consider removing it.

show examples
and learn how Thai people live in the past through visiting the ancient city in Samutprakarn province. For
this
reason, children will know and remember how their
ancestor
Fix the agreement mistake
ancestors

It seems that ancestor may not agree in number with other words in this phrase.

show examples
live and can distribute it to other
generation
Fix the agreement mistake
generations

It seems that generation may not agree in number with other words in this phrase.

show examples
to conserve it
further
. In conclusion, according to attracting
tourist
Fix the agreement mistake
tourists

It seems that tourist may not agree in number with other words in this phrase.

show examples
coming to the countries, which result in generating substantial income, along with conserving
culture
and
traditional
Replace the word
tradition

The word traditional doesn’t seem to fit this context. Consider replacing it with a different one.

show examples
for the future generation to not let it fade away, I strongly admit that
mesuem
Correct your spelling
museum
museums

The word mesuem is not in our dictionary. If you’re sure this spelling is correct, you can add it to your personal dictionary to prevent future alerts.

and art galleries should focus on their own
nation
Replace the word
national

The word nation doesn’t seem to fit this context. Consider replacing it with a different one.

show examples
history
and
culture
.
Submitted by prokoh_ja_555 on

Unauthorized use and/or duplication of this material without express and written permission from this site’s author and/or owner is strictly prohibited. Excerpts and links may be used, provided that full and clear credit is given to Writing9 with appropriate and specific direction to the original content.

Turn your IELTS writing into band 7+
Hundreds of algorithms will assess your writing according to 4 evaluation criteria. Writing9 helps you find the weak points of your essay and make it flawless.
What to do next:
Look at other essays:
Type your essay and get a band score instantly
Enjoy a quick and easy way to check IELTS Writing Task 1&2!