Some people say that music is a good way of bringing people of different cultures and ages together. To wah extent do you agree or disagree with this opinion?

✨ Do you want to improve your IELTS writing?

Entire the

Correct word choice

The

show examples

human history,

music

Use synonyms

have

Wrong verb form

has had

show examples

a significant role in their life

such

Linking Words

as in

the

Correct article usage

apply

show examples

religious

ceremony

Fix the agreement mistake

ceremonies

show examples

or even

for

Change preposition

show examples

pray

Fix the agreement mistake

prayer

show examples

. So some

people

Use synonyms

believe that

music

Use synonyms

can

come

Verb problem

bring

show examples

people

Use synonyms

together with

Linking Words

different cultures and ages. I partially agree with them because there

Correct subject-verb agreement

are

show examples

some songs or even instruments that belong to a special group of folk and it is not interesting for others. on the one hand, there are several nostalgic pieces of

music

Use synonyms

or national

music

Use synonyms

that all a country’s

citizen

Fix the agreement mistake

citizens

show examples

or who speak in a specific language in different

generation

Fix the agreement mistake

generations

show examples

listen to

those

Correct pronoun usage

apply

show examples

. if anywhere play the song,

all

Correct determiner usage

the

show examples

population dance

with

Change preposition

show examples

it regardless of their age and

enjoy

Correct subject-verb agreement

enjoys

show examples

the song.

On the contrary

Linking Words

, there are some

music

Use synonyms

genres that belong to special ages.

for instance

Linking Words

, rock and roll, pop or

k-pop

Change the capitalization

K-pop

show examples

is interesting solely for teenagers or youth

while

Linking Words

the elderly like to listen to some traditional and classic

music

Use synonyms

On the other hand

Linking Words

now a day

Correct your spelling

nowadays

show examples

some English songs or Latin

music

Use synonyms

are very popular among all nations and dance with those at their parties.

also

Linking Words

for a number of singer concerts

such

Linking Words

as Celine Dion and Jenifer

Lopes

Add a comma

,Lopes

show examples

there are

people

Use synonyms

with various cultural backgrounds and without

languages

Change the noun form

language

show examples

barriers that just dance together because of the

music

Use synonyms

. But there is some

music

Use synonyms

which is for a special part of the world and culture and other

nation

Fix the agreement mistake

nations

show examples

can not even listen to it.

for example

Linking Words

, the Australian ethnic has religious

music

Use synonyms

which plays

Wrong verb form

that is played

show examples

with a special instrument and other

nation

Fix the agreement mistake

nations

show examples

even cannot listen to that because

don't

Wrong verb form

it doesn't

show examples

have a pleasant sound.

To conclude

Linking Words

although

Linking Words

there are some genres that are for just a culture or a generation, I think

music

Use synonyms

can help

people

Use synonyms

of different nationalities or different generations

can

Verb problem

apply

show examples

connect to each other and have a good time despite all differences.

mgolnari6Mon Oct 04 2021

Unauthorized use and/or duplication of this material without express and written permission from this site's author and/or owner is strictly prohibited. Excerpts and links may be used, provided that full and clear credit is given to Writing9 with appropriate and specific direction to the original content.

task achievement

Provide a clearer and stronger thesis statement in your introduction.

task achievement

Develop your main points with more specific examples and evidence.

coherence cohesion

Organize your ideas in a more structured and cohesive manner.

lexical resource

Expand your range of vocabulary and use more formal language.

grammatical range accuracy

Review your sentence structure and improve the accuracy of your grammar.

10
Linking words
meeting the goal of 7 or more
2
Word repetition
meeting the goal of 3 or fewer
23
Grammar mistakes
detected issues

0123456789.0505

Overall Band Score

Coherence and Cohesion: 7.0

Logical structure

Introduction & conclusion present

Supported main points

Accurate linking words

Variety in linking words

Lexical resource: 4.0

Varied vocabulary

Accurate spelling & word formation

Grammatical Range: 4.0

Mix of complex & simple sentences

Clear and correct grammar

Task Achievement: 6.0

Complete response

Clear & comprehensive ideas

Relevant & specific examples

Appropriate word count

4 paragraphs

308 words

🚀 Prepare for IELTS writing section today!

Unlimited Task 1 & Task 2 checks
Practice with essays, charts, and letters.
Personalized suggestions & mistake analysis
Spot every mistake and boost your score.
Topic ideas & vocabulary helpers
Expand your ideas and use the right words.
Progress tracking
Watch your writing improve with every practice.

What to do next:

Look at other essays:

7.5
band
Nowadays some professionals such as doctor, lawyers and engineers are paid much higher than ordinary workers. What do you think of this trend? Are there any jobs which you think should offer higher salaries?
It is true that regular employees are not able to earn as high as people can get paid in some high-skilled professions, such as doctors, engineers and lawyers. I think getting paid much higher as compared to ordinary workers definitely has a positive effect on society and also describes some other jobs that also need higher salaries.
4
band
In some countries, marriages are arranged by the parents but in other cases, people choose their own marriage partners discuss and give your own opinion.
In different regions of the world, folk have a versatile opinion on the arranged and love marriages. Consequently, some folks believe have involving families in this process is the best option, while other people think, that meeting and selecting a partner after dating is more beneficial. In the upcoming paragraphs, I will describe both aspects of the wedding with outlined opinion.
5
band
Many children are encouraged by their parents to get a part time job in their free time. What are the advantaged and disadvantages of children doing so
Education and work experience have a crucial role in academics. While some parents encourage their children to seek part time jobs during their spare time, others are against this notion due to their detrimental effects on children's health. This essay will delve deeper into advantages and disadvantages offered by such inclination.
4.5
band
In most developed countries shopping is not only about buying the goods you need, it is also perceived as entertainment. Is it a positive or negative development? Give your own opinion and examples based on your experience
Consumerism is viewed today as a form of entertainment, particularly in wealthy countries. This is a negative development because although it is a great booster for the economy, it increases materialism in people. I am in accord with the latter perspective that buying habits lead to unavoidable problems. This essay would further expand my thoughts on the same in the ensuing paragraphs.
5
band
Some people think the latest technology for home entertainment such as sophisticated TVs, high-speed internet connections and tablets are having a negative impact on people’s lives, especially young people. To what extent do you agree or disagree?
Some people argued that the technology products at home for entertainment purposes have a significant drawback for teenagers. I partly agree that the negative impact of technology or electronic products on teenagers would be a good idea or aspect.

Some people say that music is a good way of bringing people of different cultures and ages together. To wah extent do you agree or disagree with this opinion?

Nowadays some professionals such as doctor, lawyers and engineers are paid much higher than ordinary workers. What do you think of this trend? Are there any jobs which you think should offer higher salaries?

In some countries, marriages are arranged by the parents but in other cases, people choose their own marriage partners discuss and give your own opinion.

Many children are encouraged by their parents to get a part time job in their free time. What are the advantaged and disadvantages of children doing so

In most developed countries shopping is not only about buying the goods you need, it is also perceived as entertainment. Is it a positive or negative development? Give your own opinion and examples based on your experience

Some people think the latest technology for home entertainment such as sophisticated TVs, high-speed internet connections and tablets are having a negative impact on people’s lives, especially young people. To what extent do you agree or disagree?