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Writing Samples
Band 5

Some people say history is one the most important school subjects. Other people think that in today’s world, subjects like science and technology are more important than history. Discuss both these views and give your own opinion

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In the modern
world
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, various people reckon that
history
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 is one of the most significant
school
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subjects
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. It’s considered a debatable topic. Specifically,
this
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 topic even grows more significantly when it comes to
school
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subjects
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 and lessons.
However
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; the others claim that nowadays,
subjects
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 like science and technology are more important than
history
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. From my perspective, I concur that, no matter what, all
school
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subjects
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 are important for pupils, especially
history
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.
To begin
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 with, without a shadow of a doubt studying
history
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subjects
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 brings
students
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 more cultural mind.
For instance
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, they know about past
society
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societies
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, ideologies,
culture
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cultures
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 and technologies.
Thus
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, with the rich
history
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 of the
world
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, they can decide for themselves which side is more suitable for them in today’s
world
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.
According to
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article
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an article
the article
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 that I read, some experts assume that teaching
history
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for
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to
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students
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 is the most fundamental and productive thing that a teacher can do for their
students
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 in the lessons.
Due to
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 the fact that
,
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apply
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 other generations should know about their past cultures, historical problems or wars in their
hole
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whole
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 life’s because if their uncultured they cannot find a useful business or a great carrier.
On the other hand
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, pupils don’t need to learn
history
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 in schools; they can read books about their culture and the past wars.
Therefore
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, they can watch documentaries about historical wars or problems.
For example
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, they can easily go to
library
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the library
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 and buy the whole series about
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world
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the world
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 war.
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Moreover
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Moreover,
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 if they don’t want to read a book they can search
in
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on
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 the internet or there are
variety
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a variety
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 of videos about
history
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.
However
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,
unfortunately
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unfortunately,
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 it’s difficult to learn science and technology
in
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on
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 the
internet
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Internet
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 or read some books.
For
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this
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reason
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reason,
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students
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 have to do experiments about science and technology in their
school
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.
To sum up
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, all these historical
subjects
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 are really improving for children’s culture.
Thus
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 they have to learn
history
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 for their life.

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Task Achievement
To improve in Task Achievement, make sure your essay thoroughly addresses all parts of the prompt. Although you discuss both viewpoints and your opinion, providing more balanced coverage and clearer arguments for each view could enhance clarity and comprehensiveness.
Coherence and Cohesion
For Coherence and Cohesion, focus on improving the flow of your essay by using a wider range of linking words and transitional phrases. This will help in connecting ideas more clearly and making the progression of your arguments smoother.
Coherence
In terms of Coherence, also ensure that each paragraph has a clear main idea and that subsequent sentences support that idea directly. This will make your arguments more persuasive and easier to follow.
Task Achievement
To enhance Task Achievement, incorporating more specific examples to support your points will make your arguments stronger and more convincing. Avoid general statements and aim for specific, detailed examples,
Topic Vocabulary:
  • Cultural heritage
  • Historical perspective
  • Analytical skills
  • Contextual understanding
  • Technological advancements
  • STEM (Science, Technology, Engineering, Mathematics)
  • Innovation
  • Interdisciplinary
  • Job market
  • Climate crisis
  • Cultural identity
  • Critical thinking
  • Humanities
  • Contemporary issues
  • Integration
  • Tech-savvy
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