Nowadays people live longer after they retire. How does this affect individuals and society? What can be done about this?

✨ Do you want to improve your IELTS writing?
In these
Change preposition
These
show examples
days, the average lifespan of
people
Use synonyms
after retirement has significantly increased which leads to problems
such
Linking Words
as
loneliness
Use synonyms
and mental illnesses. In order to solve these issues, different actions should be taken
such
Linking Words
as pet shelters raising awareness through the help of advertisement. When
people
Use synonyms
reach the age of retirement, they usually decide that they need to be
home
Use synonyms
and rest since they have become older. Even though
this
Linking Words
seems like a relaxing thing to do, human nature always requires us to be busy. Staying
home
Use synonyms
for too long after our body got used to working,
therefore
Linking Words
, can bring about the feeling of boredom and
loneliness
Use synonyms
.
For instance
Linking Words
, when elderlies are at
home
Use synonyms
all day, they often do not have someone to talk to, because other family members might be at work or at school.
This
Linking Words
can potentially lead to depression and other types of mental illnesses.
Moreover
Linking Words
, if older
people
Use synonyms
are constantly at
home
Use synonyms
without moving much, it will result in physical diseases as well. These problems could be overcome by several suggestions. One solution is that local animal
shelter
Fix the agreement mistake
shelters
show examples
ought to start advertising themselves
for
Change preposition
to
show examples
elderly
Correct article usage
the elderly
show examples
. Once
people
Use synonyms
get a pet, it is much easier to beat
loneliness
Use synonyms
since animals need to be cared for like babies. If an old person is healthy enough, they can spend their time
by
Change preposition
apply
show examples
feeding their pet and playing with them. Another suggestion is that the government or even citizens themselves might make online events, especially for weaker elderlies. Currently, most
people
Use synonyms
are capable of using devices needed for online communication. So connecting those who have retired through apps
such
Linking Words
as Microsoft Teams or Zoom would definitely help in overcoming
loneliness
Use synonyms
. In conclusion, after retirement,
people
Use synonyms
can face numerous issues that might result in the mental and physical well-being of a person. If we want to prevent these consequences, adopting homeless pets or encouraging online meetings should be considered
as
Change preposition
apply
show examples
valid solutions.
Submitted by zhadyra.serikbayeva2016 on

Unauthorized use and/or duplication of this material without express and written permission from this site’s author and/or owner is strictly prohibited. Excerpts and links may be used, provided that full and clear credit is given to Writing9 with appropriate and specific direction to the original content.

Fully explain your ideas

To get an excellent score in the IELTS Task 2 writing section, one of the easiest and most effective tips is structuring your writing in the most solid format. A great argument essay structure may be divided to four paragraphs, in which comprises of four sentences (excluding the conclusion paragraph, which comprises of three sentences).

For we to consider an essay structure a great one, it should be looking like this:

  • Paragraph 1 - Introduction
    • Sentence 1 - Background statement
    • Sentence 2 - Detailed background statement
    • Sentence 3 - Thesis
    • Sentence 4 - Outline sentence
  • Paragraph 2 - First supporting paragraph
    • Sentence 1 - Topic sentence
    • Sentence 2 - Example
    • Sentence 3 - Discussion
    • Sentence 4 - Conclusion
  • Paragraph 3 - Second supporting paragraph
    • Sentence 1 - Topic sentence
    • Sentence 2 - Example
    • Sentence 3 - Discussion
    • Sentence 4 - Conclusion
  • Paragraph 4 - Conclusion
    • Sentence 1 - Summary
    • Sentence 2 - Restatement of thesis
    • Sentence 3 - Prediction or recommendation

Our recommended essay structure above comprises of fifteen (15) sentences, which will make your essay approximately 250 to 275 words.

Discover more tips in The Ultimate Guide to Get a Target Band Score of 7+ »— a book that's free for 🚀 Premium users.

What to do next:
Look at other essays: