IELTS Writing Correction Service
Writing Samples
Band 8

In many countries nowadays, consumers can go to a supermarket and buy food produced all over the world. Do you think this is a positive or negative development?

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Currently, in various nations, consumers can access
food
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products
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 from different countries through supermarkets.
This
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 essay will examine both the advantages and disadvantages of
this
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 trend and present my perspective
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.
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 On the one hand, the abundance of imported goods imposes some drawbacks. One detrimental effect is the potential loss of some traditional
food
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 causing the youth to gradually be isolated from their tradition. Customers, especially the young, bombarded by advertising from Western-style fast
food
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 chains like KFC, McDonald’s, Burger King, and Domino’s, tend to prefer culinary offerings from these brands over their traditional dishes. The flourishing of artificial flavour imported canned drinks
such
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 as Coca-Cola and Pepsi not only deteriorates local beverage production but
also
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 raises health concerns in the long term.
As a result
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, the younger generation will feel more connected with these foreign brands rather than their local speciality leading to the loss of their traditional identity.
On the other hand
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, one of the benefits of importing and exporting victuals from various regions is the opportunity to promote diverse local cultures. Exporting processed or ready-to-eat meals to international markets allows countries to introduce their traditional cuisines, which can represent national identity. Take Vietnamese spring rolls, called “nem”, beef noodles, pho, and grilled pork with noodles “bun cha” as an example, these signature meals have become more popular than ever everywhere from restaurants across the US to fine dining rooms in Paris and London or within the
food
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 courts in Singapore.
Moreover
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, selling local agricultural
products
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 to foreign importers can contribute to local economic growth. Through the taste of these
products
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, a considerable number of travellers are attracted to visit their homeland, resulting in enhancing local tourism.
For instance
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,
according to
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 a 2023 Vietnam Airlines report, the number of flights to Vietnam has recently increased significantly since the participation of Vietnam in the International Cuisine Festivals in Europe and in the USA, doubling compared to the previous year. In conclusion,
although
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 there are concerns regarding the disappearance of local culture, negative effects on local production of some
products
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, and health problems, I believe the advantage of exported groceries in promoting local dining culture and stimulating local tourism
as well as
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 growing in national GDP can be a positive development as a whole.

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coherence cohesion
In the introduction, ensure clarity by clearly stating your viewpoint on the topic. This will strengthen your thesis statement and offer a clear direction for your essay.
coherence cohesion
Try to reduce the use of lengthy and complex sentences as they may confuse the reader. Balance them with shorter, concise sentences for better readability.
task achievement
Ensure that each main point directly supports your thesis and is well-explained with relevant examples. This will reinforce your argument and provide greater depth to your essay.
task achievement
You provided relevant and specific examples to support your arguments, such as mentioning popular Vietnamese dishes and citing the Vietnam Airlines report, which greatly strengthens your points.
coherence cohesion
The logical progression of ideas is well-maintained, making the essay easy to follow and understand. Your arguments are clearly separated and presented in an organized manner.
task achievement
You effectively balanced the discussion by presenting both the positive and negative aspects of the development, which adds depth and fairness to your essay.
Topic Vocabulary:
  • nutrition
  • cultural exposure
  • competitive markets
  • economic boost
  • employment opportunities
  • carbon footprint
  • environmental impact
  • local produce
  • food security
  • global supply chain
  • sustainable practices
  • consumer choice
  • market dynamics
  • price competition
  • agricultural sector
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