Topic: Many people are copying celebrities from magazines and on TV. Why is thishappening? Do you think it’s a good idea to copy celebrities?

#topic #people #celebrities #magazines #tv #it’s #idea #copy

To start with,

mostly

Replace the word

most

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well-known people and influencers

arebeing

Correct your spelling

are being

replicatedbyteenagersand there are several reasons for that.

Firstly

,glamorous living conditions illustrated in films and newspapers can make new generationsgetdissatisfied with theirownpositionsand be followers of footsteps their

favoriteactors

Correct your spelling

favorite actors

favourite actors

or stars had.

Also

,peeking at celebrities'lifeis caused by inspiration toownequal standing as them and expectations of high living standards.

Furthermore

, the mainstreaming trend of duplicatingfamouspeoplehavea

wide

Correct article usage

a wide

show examples

range of drawbacks

Change preposition

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various sectors of social

life

.Replicating someone can lead to

loss

Correct article usage

the loss

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in own originality and personal qualities by giving happiness based on permanent and temporary feelings of pleasure.

Moreover

, public figures have made the

eauty

Correct your spelling

beauty

standards way too high, though their followers do not even take into account the major role of photo editors,make-up and special filters that

supposes

Change the verb form

suppose

show examples

stars to look remarkable. One more example of the negative approach of high beauty standards can be proved by the situation when members of fanbasesmakeplastic surgeries to their face and body merely to look

Correct article usage

apply

show examples

a like

Correct your spelling

alike

show examples

Change preposition

apply

show examples

their idols.

In addition

, an increasing number of people trying to steal the identity of well-known artists can harm the celebrity itself.

For example

, a few scatty fans may stalk and get into the private

lifeof

Correct your spelling

life of

the personjusttogetmore information about them.To sum up, I do not accept the idea of duplicatingsomeones’lifedueto its consequences related to mental health issues caused by false expectations after comparing their own

life

. In real

life

,being fascinatedbyidols hasonlyadversedevelopment for the social part of our

life

Submitted by zhadyra.serikbayeva2016 on Wed Oct 06 2021

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Use cohesive linking words accurately and appropriately

Linking words are very important in your essay.

To score effectively on your IELTS exam, you should make an effort to implement short concise sentences coupled with linking words.

Almost every sentence in your essay should have a linking word of some sort.

In fact, the only sentences that can omit linking words are your background sentence and thesis.

Linking word examples:

firstly
secondly
thirdly
in additional
moreover
also
for example
for instance
therefore
however
although
even though
despite

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6Linking words
meeting the goal of 7 or more
1Word repetition
meeting the goal of 3 or fewer
12Grammar mistakes
 

1 paragraphs

234 words

<4

Overall Band Score

Coherence and Cohesion: 4.0

Logical structure

Introduction & conclusion present

Supported main points

Accurate linking words

Variety in linking words

Lexical resource: 4.0

Varied vocabulary

Accurate spelling & word formation

Grammatical Range: 4.0

Mix of complex & simple sentences

Clear and correct grammar

Task Achievement: 4.0

Complete response

Clear & comprehensive ideas

Relevant & specific examples

Appropriate word count

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Topic: Many people are copying celebrities from magazines and on TV. Why is thishappening? Do you think it’s a good idea to copy celebrities?

Use cohesive linking words accurately and appropriately

Some people believe that children should spend all of their time with their family. Others believe that this is unnecessary or even negative. Discuss the possible arguments on both sides, and say which side you personally support.

Some people think that it is better to educate boys and girls in separate schools. Others, however, believe that boys and girls benefit more from attending mixed schools. Discuss both views and give your own opinion.

A restaurant has placed an advertisement for waiters and waitresses in your local newspaper. Write a letter to the restaurant, applying for the job. In your letter: -Explain what you are currently doing -Describe your suitability for this area of work -Say when you can attend an interview

Despite health warnings, a large number of people continue to smoke all over the world. Why should we be concerned about this? What solutions would you suggest?

Should education and healthcare be free of charge and funded by the government, or should it be the responsibility of the people to pay for these services?