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Band 5.5

Nowadays there is an increase in people with an unhealthy diet and not doing enough physical exercises. What do you think might be the reason? What can be done to encourage people to have a healthier lifestyle?

#people #diet #exercises #reason #lifestyle
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At the present
time
, the number of people who eat junk
food
 and do little sports has increased.
This
 essay will show the exact causes of
this
 problem and how to deal with it.
First
 of all, the biggest reason for eating fast and unhealthy
food
 and
also
 doing
less
Change the quantifier
fewer
show examples
 sports is the lack of free
time
.
This
 means that many have to work non-stop at
job
Fix the agreement mistake
jobs
show examples
, school or university and
therefore
cann’t
Correct your spelling
can't
can not
 devote enough
time
 to cooking and doing exercise.
As a result
, they have to buy fast
food
 and eat it, just sitting without physical movement. The
second
 reason is the high price for services and items. Nowadays, buying healthy
food
 will be several times expensive, and entrance to the gym is
also
 not cheap. There are several ways to solve
this
 problem. And in my opinion, the most efficient thing is to bring homemade
food
 to the place of work and run on weekends.
This
 will just in
case
Add the preposition
ofcase
show examples
 help if they have very little
time
 at work. And so I think that the government should organize sports competitions between workers or students to improve their physical fitness.
For example
, every year in the city
Kyzylorda
Change preposition
of Kyzylorda
show examples
 a running marathon is held, which is carried out with high quality and material, which make
a
Correct the article-noun agreement
apply
show examples
happy many people. In conclusion, it can be said that many people worsen their health by eating unhealthy
food
 and not exercising, due to the additional tasks from employers and the high cost of things in society.
However
, to cope with
this
 situation, the government must organize activities to save healthy lifestyles.
Submitted by zhadyra.serikbayeva2016 on

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To get an excellent score in the IELTS Task 2 writing section, one of the easiest and most effective tips is structuring your writing in the most solid format. A great argument essay structure may be divided to four paragraphs, in which comprises of four sentences (excluding the conclusion paragraph, which comprises of three sentences).

For we to consider an essay structure a great one, it should be looking like this:

  • Paragraph 1 - Introduction
    • Sentence 1 - Background statement
    • Sentence 2 - Detailed background statement
    • Sentence 3 - Thesis
    • Sentence 4 - Outline sentence
  • Paragraph 2 - First supporting paragraph
    • Sentence 1 - Topic sentence
    • Sentence 2 - Example
    • Sentence 3 - Discussion
    • Sentence 4 - Conclusion
  • Paragraph 3 - Second supporting paragraph
    • Sentence 1 - Topic sentence
    • Sentence 2 - Example
    • Sentence 3 - Discussion
    • Sentence 4 - Conclusion
  • Paragraph 4 - Conclusion
    • Sentence 1 - Summary
    • Sentence 2 - Restatement of thesis
    • Sentence 3 - Prediction or recommendation

Our recommended essay structure above comprises of fifteen (15) sentences, which will make your essay approximately 250 to 275 words.

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