Many children no longer read books and instead spend their time using modern technology. While some people think this is a positive trend, others think it is a problem. Discuss both sides and give your opinion.

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There is no denying that modern hi-tech has transformed people’s lives, especially
children
’s.
While
some argue that
children
’s over-reliance on
technology
offers more benefits than reading books, others believe it is a serious global concern.
This
essay will examine both perspectives and express my opinion. On one hand,
technology
plays a pivotal role in fostering digital literacy and enhancing practical
skills
.
For example
,
children
can develop their cognitive abilities by utilizing interactive platforms
such
as educational apps and online tutorials. These tools improve problem-solving
skills
and stimulate creativity through engaging activities.
Additionally
,
technology
facilitates virtual communication, enabling
children
to connect with peers worldwide.
This
interaction broadens their cultural knowledge and strengthens their communication
skills
, preparing them for a more interconnected world.
On the other hand
, excessive screen time poses significant challenges. It often leads to a sedentary lifestyle, increasing the likelihood of chronic health issues
such
as obesity.
Moreover
,
children
who spend too much time on gadgets may experience reduced attention spans and struggle with knowledge retention, as they miss out on the deeper understanding gained from literary exposure. Over-dependence on devices can
also
result in screen addiction, impairing their confidence in face-to-face communication and hindering the development of crucial social
skills
. In conclusion,
while
technology
offers substantial advantages, I believe
children
should adopt a balanced approach, combining its use with reading books. Proper time management and moderation are key to fostering their intellectual, physical, and emotional development.
Submitted by dr.osamabhb on

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task achievement
To further enhance your essay, consider expanding on the examples provided, adding more specific data or studies to support your points. This could strengthen the argument and make the response even more compelling.
coherence cohesion
While the essay is well-organized, consider using more advanced linking devices to add sophistication and variety to the transitions between ideas.
introduction conclusion
The introduction clearly outlines both perspectives of the topic and presents the writer's opinion, offering a clear roadmap for the reader.
supported main points
Each paragraph presents clear and cohesive ideas, with the main points well-supported by relevant examples, contributing to a balanced discussion.
introduction conclusion
The conclusion effectively summarizes the arguments and reinforces the writer’s balanced stance, leaving a strong final impression.

Use a variety of complex and simple sentences

You should use complex sentences in your writing, but it does not mean that you should try to make all of our sentences complex.

‘Complex’ sentences are not actually very complex; they are just two or more simple sentences put together. Putting them together makes the essay more coherent and cohesive.

Examples:

I really want to study but I’m too tired.

I wore a warm coat because the weather was cold.

If action is not taken soon on climate change, global warming will get worse.

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Topic Vocabulary:
  • interactivity
  • multimedia resources
  • educational apps
  • global connectivity
  • imagination
  • critical thinking
  • attention span
  • concentration
  • vocabulary depth
  • literary knowledge
  • cultural awareness
  • digital literacy
  • conventional reading
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