IELTS Writing Correction Service
Writing Samples
Band 5

Nowadays there is an increase in people with an unhealthy diet and not doing enough physical exercises. What do you think might be the reason? What can be done to encourage people to have a healthier lifestyle?

#people #diet #exercises #reason #lifestyle
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It is believed, that the number of citizens with an unhealthy
food
 pyramid and less physical activity becomes more and more.
This
 essay will discuss reasons of stick to the diet, which contain lots of saturated fats due to sedimentary
lifestyle
 and possible solutions
of
Change preposition
to
show examples
this
 problem
such
 as changing eating habits or restrict unhealthy fast
food
 stores.
Firstly
,
people
 replace their active
lifestyle
to
Change preposition
with
show examples
 passive due to
a
Correct article usage
apply
show examples
technology
rapid
Replace the word
rapidly
show examples
developing
Replace the word
development
show examples
 and it
is cause
Change the verb form
causes
show examples
 an unhealthy diet and
the
Correct article usage
apply
show examples
obesity
 problems.
People
 become lazier by reason of computers provides high range opportunities for them.
As a
result
Add a comma
,result
show examples
 it causes less physical exercises and citizens pay less attention to control their eating habits.
Consequently
, men face
obesity
 and other health illness.
For instance
, about 57% of American office workers have
passive
Correct article usage
a passive
show examples
lifestyle
 and
as a result
 just under
of
Change preposition
apply
show examples
30% of them have
obesity
issue
Fix the agreement mistake
issues
show examples
. One of the possible solutions is encouraging
people
 to pay attention to their
food
 pyramid and reduce
number
Change the article
the number
show examples
 of
fast
Add a hyphen
fast-food
show examples
food
 establishments. Active advertising of a healthy way of life contributes to a change in
people
's opinion about their way of living.
Moreover
,
this
 method has
wave
Correct article usage
a wave
show examples
 effect and will quickly spread. Government can restrict unhealthy fast
food
 stores and it has
positive
Add an article
a positive
show examples
 effect on
this
 problem. If
people
 saw little junk
food
 establishments,
then
 they will feed more vitamins, proteins.
For example
, due to active advertising in England, they overcame the problem of sedimentary
lifestyle
 and prevent
obesity
. To sum up, in
last
 decade index of
people
, who have bad eating habits due to sedimentary
lifestyle
. To solve
this
 issue, citizens should carefully change their
food
 pyramid.
Submitted by zhadyra.serikbayeva2016 on

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