Some people say that music is a good way of bringing people of different culture and ages together Do you agree or disagree.?

#people #music #culture #ages

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It is a common belief that

music

Use synonyms

can bring

people

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from different cultures and ages together. I

also

Linking Words

believe

music

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is a good

way

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of bonding

people

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from

the

Correct article usage

apply

show examples

different

environment

Fix the agreement mistake

environments

show examples

because

music

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is a tool to deliver feelings and it's a good

way

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of making

friends

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who like the same kind of

music

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To begin

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with,

music

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has been a tool to deliver feelings and messages for over centuries. Because it's not like books or dictionaries,

music

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is composed by a harmony of various instruments and beautiful voices of the singer.

Therefore

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, it doesn't need any knowledge to enjoy

music

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, so

people

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from different cultures and ages can amuse with the same

music

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through its languages are different.

For example

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, K-pop singer BTS become worldwide by awarding 1st on the Billboard

music

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chart.

Although

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their songs are consist of Koreans,

through

Change preposition

apply

show examples

their message and rhythm,

Correct pronoun usage

apply

show examples

moved

American's

Fix the agreement mistake

Americans'

show examples

minds. They cannot understand BTS's message so they find on the Internet to find out and the new melody from Korea hit American's ears and hearts.

In addition

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, it's easier to make

friends

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through

music

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. When

people

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make

friends

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, the

first

Linking Words

thing to do is find a common interest. If they find something same in interest, they'll open their mind to each other. By the

way

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music

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is a common hobby to

people

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around the world and

music

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has many kinds of genres. If they have an interest in the same genre, it becomes easier to get close with.

For example

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, many kinds of

music

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festivals are held around the world, and we can see

people

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who like the same genres together, they readily become

friends

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due to like the same kind of

music

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. To sum up, I agree that

music

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is the best

way

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of bonding

people

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from different circumstances together due to

music

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's characteristics of sending their feelings through melody and it's the easiest

way

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of making

friends

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because listening to

music

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is everyone's common hobby.

Submitted by alice1809 on Thu Oct 07 2021

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7
Linking words
meeting the goal of 7 or more
4
Word repetition
meeting the goal of 3 or fewer
5
Grammar mistakes
detected issues

0123456789.0505

Overall Band Score

Coherence and Cohesion: 7.0

Logical structure

Introduction & conclusion present

Supported main points

Accurate linking words

Variety in linking words

Lexical resource: 5.0

Varied vocabulary

Accurate spelling & word formation

Grammatical Range: 5.0

Mix of complex & simple sentences

Clear and correct grammar

Task Achievement: 9.0

Complete response

Clear & comprehensive ideas

Relevant & specific examples

Appropriate word count

4 paragraphs

327 words

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Topic Vocabulary:

cultural diversity
harmony
integration
bridging gaps
foster
ignite
embrace
communicate
celebrate
appreciate
inclusivity
universal language
emotional resonance
shared experiences
intercultural dialogue
intergenerational connections
cultural exchange
catalyst

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Some people say that music is a good way of bringing people of different culture and ages together Do you agree or disagree.?

In many cities around the world pollution levels have risen in recent years. Why are some cities becoming more polluted? What effects does this have? Give reasons for your answer and include any relevant examples from your own knowledge or experience.

In many countries, women and men are working full-time. It is, therefore, logical for women and men to share household tasks. To what extent do you agree or disagree?

some people rely too much on doctors instead of taking care of their own health. they think all health problems can just be fixed by visiting doctors. what problems could this approach to healthcare cause and how might they be solved?

In many countries around the world, rural people are moving to cities, so the population in the countryside is decreasing. Do you think this is a positive or a negative development? Give reasons for your answer and include any relevant examples from your own knowledge or experience.

Some parents buy their childern a large number of toys to play with. What are the advantages and disadvantages for the child of having a large number of toys.