Although there are number of gyms, people are leading a sedentary lifestyle. Discuss the problems associated with these issues and give the solutions for the same.

#gyms #people #lifestyle

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In the current world, we are facing an

issue

where

people

tend to do little physical exercise, no matter that there are plenty of gyms.

This

issue

can be associated with a lack of

awareness

among

people

about the importance of a healthy

lifestyle

. A viable solution to tackle

this

issue

is by raising

awareness

of the pivotal aspects of being healthy. Not all

people

consider that health is a significant thing in their lives.

This

relates to the fact that individuals have tended to take health for granted before they get sick. They will eat whatever they want, not caring about the low nutrients contained in their food. Soon, it will lead to obesity, a higher cholesterol level, diabetes, and other heart problems. It is getting worse with a sedentary

lifestyle

while

individuals do no or little movements, just sitting all day long.

For example

, a friend of mine gets a complicated disease because of her obesity. Her heart is weakened

due to

diabetes and high cholesterol levels. She has never done any exercise, because she has never thought that her condition will become that bad. A solution

that is

proving successful in many areas is raising

awareness

programs. These programs are not only conducted by the governments but

also

by the volunteers. The governments can massively spread

awareness

through media and every institution under their control. The volunteers can directly reach men and women in their area through public events or door-to-door schemes. A survey carried out in the town of Jombang proved that the involvement of governments in raising

awareness

programs had increased the healthy

lifestyle

of its

people

by 30% in 2023.

Moreover

, the involvement of the volunteers had increased the same aspect by 42%. In conclusion, the

issue

where humans tend to be physically inactive, no matter that there are plenty of gyms, can be solved by raising

awareness

about the pivotal of a healthy

lifestyle

Submitted by mayaanita.studi on Fri May 24 2024

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task achievement

The essay addresses the topic well and covers the problems and solutions effectively. However, it could be improved by adding more specific details and examples to strengthen the arguments.

coherence cohesion

The essay is clearly structured with an introduction, body paragraphs, and conclusion. To improve, ensure smooth transitions between paragraphs and expand on key points for better coherence.

coherence cohesion

The introduction clearly sets the stage for the discussion and the conclusion effectively summarizes the main points.

task achievement

The essay provides relevant examples and personal anecdotes, which make the arguments more relatable and concrete.

Include an introduction and conclusion

A conclusion is essential for IELTS writing task 2. It is more important than most people realise. You will be penalised for missing a conclusion in your IELTS essay.

The easiest paragraph to write in an essay is the conclusion paragraph. This is because the paragraph mostly contains information that has already been presented in the essay – it is just the repetition of some information written in the introduction paragraph and supporting paragraphs.

The conclusion paragraph only has 3 sentences:

Summary
Restatement of thesis
Prediction or recommendation

Example:

To summarize, a robotic teacher does not have the necessary disciple to properly give instructions to students and actually works to retard the ability of a student to comprehend new lessons. Therefore, it is clear that the idea of running a classroom completely by a machine cannot be supported. After thorough analysis on this subject, it is predicted that the adverse effects of the debate over technology-driven teaching will always be greater than the positive effects, and because of this, classroom teachers will never be substituted for technology.

Start your conclusion with a linking phrase. Here are some examples:

In conclusion
To conclude
To summarize
Finally
In a nutshell
In general

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7
Linking words
meeting the goal of 7 or more
4
Word repetition
meeting the goal of 3 or fewer
0
Grammar mistakes
detected issues

0123456789.0505

Overall Band Score

Coherence and Cohesion: 7.0

Logical structure

Introduction & conclusion present

Supported main points

Accurate linking words

Variety in linking words

Lexical resource: 7.0

Varied vocabulary

Accurate spelling & word formation

Grammatical Range: 9.0

Mix of complex & simple sentences

Clear and correct grammar

Task Achievement: 7.0

Complete response

Clear & comprehensive ideas

Relevant & specific examples

Appropriate word count

4 paragraphs

321 words

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Include an introduction and conclusion

Some people say that the only reason for learning a foreign language is in order to travel to or work in a foreign country. Others say that these are not the only reasons why someone should learn a foreign language. Discuss both these views and give your own opinion.

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In many countries, children are becoming overweight and unhealthy. Discuss the causes and suggest solutions for the problem

Nowadays the way many people interact with each other has changed because of technology. In what ways has technology affected the types of relationships people make? Is this a positive or negative development?

In many countries around the world, rural people are moving to cities, so the population in the countryside is decreasing. Do you think this a positive or negative thing?