IELTS Writing Correction Service /
Writing Samples /
Band 5

Many children these days have their own mobile phones what are the advantage and disadvantage of it.

#children #phones #advantage
At present, many teenagers have their own smartphones. One of the major
advantage
Change to a plural noun
advantages
show examples
 is educational support for them.
Moreover
, it gives safety and security to parents.
On the other hand
, there are some disadvantages. Now I will describe the advantages and disadvantages of using mobile phones. Mobile phones offer educational support to the youth.
Last
 year, with the ongoing pandemic situation, a lot of educational courses moving to an online teaching system. To attend those deeds,
children
 need to
use
 mobile devices
such
 as smartphones, computers and notebooks. They can search
information
Change preposition
for information
show examples
 that they need to know. They can see useful educational videos and they can know today’s news.
For example
, if you
use
 your mobile phone in a suitable way, you can learn foreign languages from watching videos on YouTube. If you are boring, you may
use
 interesting programmes like Tik Tok, Instagram or any more. Another way is listening to music or playing
an
Correct article usage
apply
show examples
entertainment
gamegames
Correct your spelling
game games
.
On the contrary
, smart devices allow teenagers to access unauthorized and inappropriate adult content. There are a lot of programmes which are prohibited to
children
.
For instance
,today there is a large number of websites that contain pornographic videos. As a consequence, teenagers will easily access those and it will be harmful to their future life. Mobile
games
 waste the valuable time of
children
 and adversely impact to enrich their knowledge.
For example
,
games
such
 as PUBG or blue whale are unprofitable for
children
. Because, in these
games
, they will try to accomplished missions and they will lose their lives. Another problem is dependent on their health. Because
,
Remove the comma
apply
show examples
children
 like to play online
games
 for hours. That’s why they lose their eye beam and they will be blind men. I think the maximum time is 1 or 2 hours a day. In conclusion, I agree with the advantages of
the
Correct article usage
apply
show examples
mobile phones.Because of you may complete your defects and you may
use
 the benefits of smartphones.
Submitted by odil_m on

Unauthorized use and/or duplication of this material without express and written permission from this site’s author and/or owner is strictly prohibited. Excerpts and links may be used, provided that full and clear credit is given to Writing9 with appropriate and specific direction to the original content.

Answer the 'Advantages and Disadvantages' topic

IELTS advantages and disadvantages questions normally give you a statement and ask you to comment on the advantages and disadvantages of that statement.

Answer structure for the type of essay

  • Introduction
  • Body paragraph 1 – advantages
  • Body paragraph 2 – disadvantages
  • Conclusion

Examples to start your body paragraph:

  • The main advantage is...
  • The disadvantage of this...
  • The main benefit...
  • Despite these advantages...
  • One possible drawback...

Discover more tips in The Ultimate Guide to Get a Target Band Score of 7+ »— a book that's free for 🚀 Premium users.

Essentional vocabulary list for IELTS Writing 7+

Learn how to write high-scoring essays with powerful words.
Download Free PDF and start improving you writing skills today!
What to do next:
Look at other essays: