In many countries, people now wear western-style dress such as suits and jeans rather than traditional clothing. Why is this? Is this a positive or negative development?
People
wear numerous types of dresses
in order to express their traditions and emotions. Despite the fact that western
Capitalize word
Western
dresses
such
as jeans and coats are popular among people
because of their trendy fashion, I believe that there is a negative impact of this
behaviour as people
will forget their traditional values
.
People
love to wear modern dresses
because they are trendy and comfortable. Social media posts, news and movies are always showing individuals who are wearing skinny jeans, shorts and beautiful fashionable clothes
. Moreover
, these apparels
are Fix the agreement mistake
apparel
also
lightweight as compared to traditional clothes
that are composed of multiple layers of fabric and heavy embroidery. For example
, these days, numerous shopping malls are selling modern European style
Add a hyphen
European-style
clothes
rather than old fashioned
suits. Add a hyphen
old-fashioned
Hence
, this
behaviour shows that people
want to buy clothes
that are popular and easy to wear.
However
, there is a significant negative effect of foreign apparel as people
will forget their family values
. Firstly
, If we continue to wear trendy clothes
in our daily lives, then
our children will follow the same. So, after a few generations, nobody will remember any family values
regarding dresses
. Secondly
, not only do clothes
represent emotions, but they also
show the dignity of our forefathers. In this
way, we can lose our family traditions by wearing modern clothes
. For example
, many aboriginal tribes in Australia still wear their traditional dresses
in order to preserve their culture and values
.
In conclusion, we examined why people
are wearing fashionable apparel because of their popularity, as well as
why this
behaviour has a negative impact on individuals as we can forget our family values
. In my opinion, people
should respect their traditions rather than following
fashion trends.Wrong verb form
follow
Submitted by imranabhc on
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task response
Ensure that the essay fully addresses the question prompt, providing a balanced view of the reasons for the trend and evaluating its positive or negative impact. Avoid providing a one-sided argument and ensure that all aspects of the prompt are addressed.
coherence and cohesion
The logical structure of the essay is generally clear, with a well-defined introduction and conclusion. However, there is room for improvement in the development of ideas within paragraphs, ensuring that each paragraph focuses on a single main point and that ideas are logically connected throughout the essay.
lexical resource
The essay demonstrates a good range of vocabulary, including the use of a variety of words and phrases related to the topic. However, there is an opportunity to use more precise and sophisticated vocabulary to convey ideas more effectively.
grammatical range
The essay displays a reasonable range of grammatical structures, but more complex sentence structures and a wider variety of sentence types could be used to enhance coherence and demonstrate a more advanced command of English.