A lot of people believe that the amount of violence shown on TV and in the cinema affects the actions of our young people and therefore increases the amount of violence in our society today. Do you agree or disagree with this statement? What can be done to reduce violence in our society today?

#people #amount #violence #tv #cinema #actions #increases #society

It is widely believed that the

appearances

Fix the agreement mistake

appearance

show examples

of crime scenes in the movie industry

has

Change the verb form

have

show examples

greatly contributed to spoiling the actions of the youths, which results in increasing

violience

Correct your spelling

violence

Therefore

, in my opinion, there should be restrictions on those kinds of films prior to launch and the warning policy for criminals. The main reason why mass

media

and television continue to have an effect on young people is that many teens may be completely addicted to violent TV shows or the

film

industry. They want to be the characters in the

film

, copy every single

actions

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action

show examples

of them, and the disaster is created. Taking John Wick as an example, the

film

is full of killing, stealing,

robbering

Correct your spelling

robbing

robbery

for a nonsense purpose, in an unlawful society. After watching

this

film

, the

audiences

Fix the agreement mistake

audience

show examples

may think that they have the right to do the same things without thinking about the consequences.

Nevertheless

, the restriction to producing an unlawful

film

and early warning to the youngsters can support

Change preposition

apply

show examples

crime reduction. All the movies ought to be monitored before finalizing, uploading or launching on any platform.

Furthermore

, there must be a fine or a ban on relevant

media

producer

Fix the agreement mistake

producers

show examples

in case of misconduct.

Moreover

, the authorities must warn the public through electronic

media

not to involve in any sort of illegal activity

likewise

, thief, stealing any stuff and disclose severe

Change preposition

apply

show examples

possible punishment

such

as thief, stealing any stuff.

Hence

, the controlling of different publishing movies, and the relevant policy for punishment for the youth might reduce the scandal rate. In conclusion,

the

Correct article usage

apply

show examples

electronic

media

have a great impact on

young

Correct article usage

the young

show examples

generation. While I strongly recommend that the check and balance of any

media

before telecasting and early caution might reduce the violence.

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Paragraph 1 - Introduction

Sentence 1 - Background statement
Sentence 2 - Detailed background statement
Sentence 3 - Thesis
Sentence 4 - Outline sentence

Paragraph 2 - First supporting paragraph

Sentence 1 - Topic sentence
Sentence 2 - Example
Sentence 3 - Discussion
Sentence 4 - Conclusion

Paragraph 3 - Second supporting paragraph

Sentence 1 - Topic sentence
Sentence 2 - Example
Sentence 3 - Discussion
Sentence 4 - Conclusion

Paragraph 4 - Conclusion

Sentence 1 - Summary
Sentence 2 - Restatement of thesis
Sentence 3 - Prediction or recommendation

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8Linking words
meeting the goal of 7 or more
2Word repetition
meeting the goal of 3 or fewer
11Grammar mistakes
 

4 paragraphs

289 words

0123456789.0505

Overall Band Score

Coherence and Cohesion: 9.0

Logical structure

Introduction & conclusion present

Supported main points

Accurate linking words

Variety in linking words

Lexical resource: 4.0

Varied vocabulary

Accurate spelling & word formation

Grammatical Range: 4.0

Mix of complex & simple sentences

Clear and correct grammar

Task Achievement: 6.5

Complete response

6.5

Clear & comprehensive ideas

Relevant & specific examples

Appropriate word count

🚀 Prepare for IELTS writing section today!

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Topic Vocabulary:

desensitization
crucial stage
moral and ethical understandings
external factors
profound impact
reflection
mitigate
stricter regulations
depiction
empathy
conflict resolution
collaboration
conscious
impact
promoting
culture of peace
non-violence
public awareness campaigns
community programs

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A lot of people believe that the amount of violence shown on TV and in the cinema affects the actions of our young people and therefore increases the amount of violence in our society today. Do you agree or disagree with this statement? What can be done to reduce violence in our society today?

Fully explain your ideas

Essentional vocabulary list for IELTS Writing 7+

The Impact of Technology on Traditional Industries

In some countries, more and more people are becoming interested in the history of the house or the building they live in what are the reason for this? how can they research this?

Some people think secondary school students should study international news as one of their subjects, while others believe that this is a waste of valuable school time. Discuss both these views and give your own opinion.

More and more people today are buying and driving cars which has a positive impact for the economy but can hurt the environment. Do the advantages of this outweigh the disadvantages

In many countries, people decide to have children at a later age than in the past. Why? Do the advantages of this development outweigh the disadvantages? Give reasons for your answer and include any relevant examples from your own knowledge or experience.