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Writing Samples
Band 7.5

More and more people these days overwork. Overwork has caused several problems. What are they and how to tackle this problems?

#people #overwork
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Currently,
overwork
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 is a common trend among individuals and it leads to several serious problems in society.
This
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 essay shall discuss the health-related issues among workers due to heavy workload, and the personal efforts to alleviate
this
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 problem.
Overwork
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 primarily impacts personal health. Because of long working
hours
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, the
time
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 spent on relaxation and refreshment is shortened to labourers.
Therefore
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, individuals may not be able to dedicate their
time
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 to family members which reduce the strength of the relationship in the family.
Finally
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, it results in family breakdown and mental illness to individuals.
Additionally
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, lack of
time
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 for physical exercise due to overwhelming work makes people lethargic and lazy which in turn cause sedentary lifestyle diseases.
For example
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, people who have more than eight
hours
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 of screen
time
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 usually suffer from insomnia, dryness of the eyes and headaches. To tackle these health-related issues personal effort has to be put into exercise and refreshment. Workers should decide to spare enough
time
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 to have a personal life and family life. For ,that they have to fix the number of working
hours
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 and should be smart enough to achieve the goal within the scheduled period. People have to do regular physical exercise to avoid the problems like hypertension and diabetes.
For instance
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, in western countries employees leave the office after a fixed
time
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 and do not promote others to sit in the office after working
hours
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. In conclusion,
overwork
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 should not be promoted. There should be a work-life balance to achieve mental and physical wellbeing.
Finally
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,
overwork
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 is not a permanent solution to fulfil the need for new employees and the execution of technology.
Submitted by noorshaheen on

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To get an excellent score in the IELTS Task 2 writing section, one of the easiest and most effective tips is structuring your writing in the most solid format. A great argument essay structure may be divided to four paragraphs, in which comprises of four sentences (excluding the conclusion paragraph, which comprises of three sentences).

For we to consider an essay structure a great one, it should be looking like this:

  • Paragraph 1 - Introduction
    • Sentence 1 - Background statement
    • Sentence 2 - Detailed background statement
    • Sentence 3 - Thesis
    • Sentence 4 - Outline sentence
  • Paragraph 2 - First supporting paragraph
    • Sentence 1 - Topic sentence
    • Sentence 2 - Example
    • Sentence 3 - Discussion
    • Sentence 4 - Conclusion
  • Paragraph 3 - Second supporting paragraph
    • Sentence 1 - Topic sentence
    • Sentence 2 - Example
    • Sentence 3 - Discussion
    • Sentence 4 - Conclusion
  • Paragraph 4 - Conclusion
    • Sentence 1 - Summary
    • Sentence 2 - Restatement of thesis
    • Sentence 3 - Prediction or recommendation

Our recommended essay structure above comprises of fifteen (15) sentences, which will make your essay approximately 250 to 275 words.

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