Rise of convince foods has helped people keep up with the speed of modern life style. What are the advantages of this trend? Do the advantages outweigh the disadvantages?
These days, technology has been improving, but we can see that most people are employed, so they prefer eating convenient
foods
, which are helping them to have the same speed as modern life. while
the ready meals have a lot
of benefits, I still believe that these cannot overshadow the demerits.
On the one hand, convenience foods
have various merits. Firstly
, the population who are employees do not have a lot
of time
for cooking due to
the fact that most of them average work 8 hours a day; moreover
, they spend a lot
of time
both getting ready and travelling, which need a lot
of time
in metropolises, to work; as a result
, this
time
climbed to 12 hours; hence
, they like ready food instead
of cooking. In other words
, my friends who are working in Tehran have been spending 15 hours on their work and when they come back to their house are really tired and cannot make food. Secondly
, the young generations are so lazy and a large group of them are not able to cook; therefore
, they use these dishes. To illustrate, when I used to live in the dormitory, my friends, who lived with me in the same room, could not make simple foods
like frying eggs, so they used ready foods
.
On the other hand
, these foods
like other developments have several drawbacks. On the one side, these foods
such
as fast foods
and foods
that are canned, and other kinds of meals are not good for our health and when we utilize them for a long time
, then
we will be ill and obese inasmuch as they have a lot
of salt, oil, and some material which help us to keep them for a long time
. On the other side, if societies eat these meals, then
they do not cook; besides
, inhabitants of these countries forget our traditional foods
owing to the fact that they do not need to learn them because they are not cooking.
In conclusion, it is important that these foods
help us not to think about food, however
, the good points of them can outweigh their advantages on account our health and culture are more crucial.Submitted by maryamkazemi968 on
Unauthorized use and/or duplication of this material without express and written permission from this site’s author and/or owner is strictly prohibited. Excerpts and links may be used, provided that full and clear credit is given to Writing9 with appropriate and specific direction to the original content.
task achievement
The essay should provide a more balanced view by evaluating the advantages and disadvantages more equally. Currently, it leans more towards discussing the disadvantages.
coherence cohesion
Ensure paragraphs are clearly distinct. Some paragraphs here tend to merge points together, which can obscure the main arguments.
coherence cohesion
Avoid repetition in your points. For instance, both main points about the disadvantages could be presented more succinctly.
coherence cohesion
Proofread for minor grammatical errors and sentence structure improvements. This will help in achieving a higher score for coherence.
coherence cohesion
The introduction and conclusion are clear and concise, effectively framing the essay.
task achievement
You provide relevant examples which help in illustrating your points well.
task achievement
The main points are generally well-supported with logical reasoning and examples.