Some people say that parents should encourage their children to take part in organised group activities in their free time. Others say that it is important for children to learn how to occupy themselves on their own.Discuss both these views and give your own opinion.Give reasons for your answer and include any relevant examples from your own knowledge or experience.

Revised Band 9 Essay: These days, some individuals believe that parents should encourage their
children
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to participate in planned group
activities
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during their free time.
However
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, others argue that independent play,
such
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as playing with toys, is more valuable for a child’s development. In
this
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essay, I will discuss both perspectives and explain why I believe self-directed play is ultimately more beneficial. On the one hand,
organized
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organised
show examples
group
activities
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offer several advantages for young people. Through these
activities
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,
children
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learn practical
skills
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that prepare them for adulthood.
For example
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, team sports or scouting programs teach cooperation, time management, and discipline.
Additionally
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,
such
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activities
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often enforce clear rules—
children
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who fail to follow instructions may face consequences,
such
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as being temporarily excluded from a game.
This
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early exposure to structure helps them understand accountability. In my neighbourhood, families whose
children
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join
such
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programs often report improved social
skills
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and confidence compared to those who do not.
On the other hand
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, solo playtime—like building with blocks or solving puzzles—strengthens cognitive abilities. When
children
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engage in independent play, they must think creatively to overcome challenges.
For instance
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, a child assembling a model
airplane
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aeroplane
show examples
must follow logical steps, which enhances problem-solving
skills
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. At my school, students who regularly played alone with educational toys tended to perform better in analytical subjects like mathematics.
This
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suggests that self-directed play fosters independent thinking, a crucial skill for adulthood. In conclusion,
while
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group
activities
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teach discipline and teamwork, I believe that unstructured, independent play is more valuable.
Children
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who learn to entertain themselves develop sharper decision-making
skills
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, which benefit them in difficult situations later in life.

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task achievement
The essay fully addresses the task and presents a clear opinion. Keep ensuring that all points are relevant and specific.
coherence and cohesion
Your ideas flow logically from one to another. Each paragraph has a clear main idea that supports your argument. Great job!
coherence and cohesion
The introduction clearly outlines the topic and gives your opinion. The conclusion effectively summarizes your main arguments and restates your view.
task achievement
Each paragraph gives good examples that support your points. This makes your arguments stronger and clearer.

Your opinion

Don’t put your opinion unless you are asked to give it.

If the question asks what you think, you MUST give your opinion to get a good score.

Don’t leave your opinion until the conclusion.

Here are examples of instructions that require you to give your opinion:

...do you agree or disagree?...do you think...?...your opinion...?

Topic Vocabulary:
  • encourage
  • occupied
  • organized
  • group activities
  • benefits
  • social
  • teamwork skills
  • interpersonal skills
  • friendship
  • discipline
  • time management
  • interests
  • hobbies
  • independent play
  • creativity
  • problem-solving skills
  • self-reliance
  • explore
  • discover
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