Some people say that parents should encourage their children to take part in organised group activities in their free time. Others say that it is important for children to learn how to occupy themselves on their own.Discuss both these views and give your own opinion.Give reasons for your answer and include any relevant examples from your own knowledge or experience.

Revised Band 9 Essay: These days, some individuals believe that parents should encourage their

children

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to participate in planned group

activities

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during their free time.

However

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, others argue that independent play,

such

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as playing with toys, is more valuable for a child’s development. In

this

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essay, I will discuss both perspectives and explain why I believe self-directed play is ultimately more beneficial. On the one hand,

organized

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organised

show examples

group

activities

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offer several advantages for young people. Through these

activities

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children

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learn practical

skills

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that prepare them for adulthood.

For example

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, team sports or scouting programs teach cooperation, time management, and discipline.

Additionally

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such

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activities

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often enforce clear rules—

children

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who fail to follow instructions may face consequences,

such

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as being temporarily excluded from a game.

This

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early exposure to structure helps them understand accountability. In my neighbourhood, families whose

children

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join

such

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programs often report improved social

skills

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and confidence compared to those who do not.

On the other hand

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, solo playtime—like building with blocks or solving puzzles—strengthens cognitive abilities. When

children

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engage in independent play, they must think creatively to overcome challenges.

For instance

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, a child assembling a model

airplane

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aeroplane

show examples

must follow logical steps, which enhances problem-solving

skills

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. At my school, students who regularly played alone with educational toys tended to perform better in analytical subjects like mathematics.

This

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suggests that self-directed play fosters independent thinking, a crucial skill for adulthood. In conclusion,

while

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group

activities

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teach discipline and teamwork, I believe that unstructured, independent play is more valuable.

Children

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who learn to entertain themselves develop sharper decision-making

skills

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, which benefit them in difficult situations later in life.

behradbana1

Jul 27, 2025

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task achievement

The essay fully addresses the task and presents a clear opinion. Keep ensuring that all points are relevant and specific.

coherence and cohesion

Your ideas flow logically from one to another. Each paragraph has a clear main idea that supports your argument. Great job!

coherence and cohesion

The introduction clearly outlines the topic and gives your opinion. The conclusion effectively summarizes your main arguments and restates your view.

task achievement

Each paragraph gives good examples that support your points. This makes your arguments stronger and clearer.

Your opinion

Don’t put your opinion unless you are asked to give it.

If the question asks what you think, you MUST give your opinion to get a good score.

Don’t leave your opinion until the conclusion.

Here are examples of instructions that require you to give your opinion:

...do you agree or disagree?...do you think...?...your opinion...?

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8
Linking words
meeting the goal of 7 or more
3
Word repetition
meeting the goal of 3 or fewer
2
Grammar mistakes
detected issues

0123456789.0505

Overall Band Score

Coherence and Cohesion: 7.0

Logical structure

Introduction & conclusion present

Supported main points

Accurate linking words

Variety in linking words

Lexical resource: 7.0

Varied vocabulary

Accurate spelling & word formation

Grammatical Range: 6.0

Mix of complex & simple sentences

Clear and correct grammar

Task Achievement: 8.0

Complete response

Clear & comprehensive ideas

Relevant & specific examples

Appropriate word count

5 paragraphs

267 words

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Topic Vocabulary:

encourage
occupied
organized
group activities
benefits
social
teamwork skills
interpersonal skills
friendship
discipline
time management
interests
hobbies
independent play
creativity
problem-solving skills
self-reliance
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Your opinion

In many countries, crime rates among young people have been rising. Why do you think this is happening? What can be done to address this issue?"

Some people say free time activities for children should be organized by parents. Others say that children should be free to choose what they do in their free time. Discuss both views and give your opinion.

some people think that criminal behavior has genetic causes. others believe that it is circumstances that lead people to commit a crime. discuss both views and give your opinion.