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Writing Samples
Band 6

The tradition that the family gets to eat meals is disappearing. What are the reasons? What are the impacts?

#tradition #meals #impacts
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Nowadays, it is evident that traditional family
mealtime
Use synonyms
 has been declining quickly.
This
Linking Words
 phenomenon can be explained by several reasons and have significant impacts on family lifestyles, health, and society. There are several factors leading to
decrease
Correct article usage
a decrease
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 in family
mealtime
Use synonyms
. One primary reason is that
,
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apply
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 people at present society need to work for a longer period of time in order to maintain
the
Change the word
their
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 living standards. When parents return home late, children are not able to eat with their parents. Another reason is more job opportunities out of their hometown, thanks to the
widely
Replace the word
widespread
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use
Change the form of the verb
used
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in
Change preposition
of
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internet
Add an article
the internet
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. People nowadays can access
to
Change preposition
apply
show examples
new information through Google very easily and quickly, while information asymmetry was very common in the past.
For example
Linking Words
, you can now have job interviews with an employer located 2000km away from your home through Zoom and solve all kinds of problems caused by relocation without too much difficulty. The consequences of disappearance in family
mealtime
Use synonyms
 can be very serious.
To begin
Linking Words
 with, children’s manners and interpersonal skills will get worse because they have less quality time with parents, who are always the best teachers in children’s formative years.
In addition
Linking Words
, when youngsters do not eat with their family, they tend to eat in front of TVs or computer screens;
thus
Linking Words
 they would be more likely to have health issues,
such
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 as eating disorders or obesity.
Furthermore
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, less family bonding results in
the
Correct article usage
a
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 decline in the perspective of traditional family values and
therefore
Linking Words
reduce
Replace the word
reduction
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in
Change preposition
apply
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the marriage rate in the future. In conclusion, the decline in traditional family
mealtime
Use synonyms
 is mainly due to the change in people’s working styles and more job opportunities out of their home time, whereas
this
Linking Words
 phenomenon will have negative effects
to
Change preposition
on
show examples
 our lifestyles, health, and society.
Submitted by barryyeung on

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For we to consider an essay structure a great one, it should be looking like this:

  • Paragraph 1 - Introduction
    • Sentence 1 - Background statement
    • Sentence 2 - Detailed background statement
    • Sentence 3 - Thesis
    • Sentence 4 - Outline sentence
  • Paragraph 2 - First supporting paragraph
    • Sentence 1 - Topic sentence
    • Sentence 2 - Example
    • Sentence 3 - Discussion
    • Sentence 4 - Conclusion
  • Paragraph 3 - Second supporting paragraph
    • Sentence 1 - Topic sentence
    • Sentence 2 - Example
    • Sentence 3 - Discussion
    • Sentence 4 - Conclusion
  • Paragraph 4 - Conclusion
    • Sentence 1 - Summary
    • Sentence 2 - Restatement of thesis
    • Sentence 3 - Prediction or recommendation

Our recommended essay structure above comprises of fifteen (15) sentences, which will make your essay approximately 250 to 275 words.

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