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Writing Samples
Band 7

Some people believe the aim of university education is to help graduates get better jobs. Others believe there are much wider benefits of university education for both individuals and society. Discuss both views and give your opinion. Give reasons for your answer and include any relevant examples from your own experience or knowledge.

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These days, more and more
people
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 are making the choice to go to
university
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.
While
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 some
people
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 are of the opinion that the only purpose of
a
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apply
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university
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 education is to improve
job
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 prospects, others think that
society
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 and the individual benefit in much broader ways. It is certainly true that one of the main aims of
university
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 is to secure a better
job
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. The majority of
people
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 want to improve their future career prospects and attending
university
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 is one of the best ways to do
this
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 as it increases a person's marketable skills and attractiveness to potential employers.
In addition
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,
further
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 education is very expensive for many
people
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, so most would not consider it if it would not provide them with a more secure future and a higher standard of living.
Thus
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job
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 prospects are very important.
However
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, there are other benefits for individuals and
society
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.
Firstly
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, the independence of living away from home is a benefit because it helps the students develop better social skills and improve as a person. A case in point is that many students will have to leave their families, live in halls of residence and meet new friends.
As a result
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, their maturity and confidence will grow enabling them to live more fulfilling lives.
Secondly
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,
society
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 will gain from the contribution that the graduates can make to the economy. We are living in a very competitive world, so countries need educated
people
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 in order to compete and prosper.
Therefore
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, I believe that
although
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a
Correct article usage
the
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 main aim of
university
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 education is to get the best
job
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, there are clearly
further
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 benefits. If we continue to promote and encourage
university
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 attendance, it will lead to a better future for individuals and
society
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.

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coherence cohesion
Make sure to include a clear thesis statement in the introduction that outlines your opinion on the topic.
task achievement
Provide more specific examples to support your points.
coherence cohesion
In the conclusion, summarize your main points and restate your opinion.

Support ideas with relevant, specific examples

Examples make your writing easier to understand by illustrating points more effectively.

Examples, if used properly, not only help you get higher marks for ‘Task Response’ but also for ‘Coherence’.

When giving examples it is best to put them after your main idea or topic sentence. They can be used in the middle of supporting sentences or they can be used to start a new sentence. There is no rule for where exactly to give examples in essays, logically they would come after your main idea/topic sentence or just after a supporting sentence.

Linking words for giving examples:

  • for example
  • for instance
  • to illustrate this
  • to give a clear example
  • such as
  • namely
  • to illustrate
  • take, for example

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Topic Vocabulary:
  • higher education
  • employability
  • specialized knowledge
  • lifetime earnings
  • intellectual curiosity
  • personal growth
  • transferable skills
  • social mobility
  • cultural understanding
  • societal advancement
  • global challenges
  • diverse perspectives
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