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Band 5

Nowadays people are spending more time watching movies. Why is this happening? Is it a positive or negative development?

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Introduction
A large number of people these days spend most of their
time
Use synonyms
in
Change preposition
apply
show examples
going
for
Change preposition
to
show examples
Use synonyms
movies
Correct article usage
the movies
show examples
. One of the main reasons for
this
Linking Words
 is that
movies
Use synonyms
 are the cheapest mode of entertainment. I believe it is a negative development since watching too many
movies
Use synonyms
 can have adverse impacts on one’s health as well as create negative ideas in the minds of children.
Body paragraph 1
The main reason why many people spend
time
Use synonyms
 watching
movies
Use synonyms
 is that it is very cheap and easily available. Most of the
movies
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 are available on various online platforms soon after release and there is no need for one to spend even a penny to watch in the theatre. If
it
Correct pronoun usage
apply
show examples
all people decide to watch it in the theatres, many are open in the malls and city centres and does not cost much either. It would be a much cheaper option when compared to any staycations or amusement parks.
Body paragraph 2
In my opinion,
this
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 is not a positive development as it could lead to
increasing
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increased
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 screen
time
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 not just for
kids
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 but
also
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 for adults, who spend most of their
time
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 on laptops or mobile phones.
Although
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 it is the cheapest mode of entertainment it limits the
kids
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 from playing and being sportive.
For instance
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, while going out
kids
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 could run around
be
Fix the infinitive
to be
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 active and healthy while watching
movies
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 they tend to sit and eat.
Body paragraph 3
The other negative impact could be,
movies
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 these days involve a lot of negativity giving
kids
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 atrocious ideas for future life. Most of the current
movies
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 involve violence, use of alcohol and drugs which create curiosity in
kids
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 affecting their future endeavours of life.
For example
Linking Words
, before
movies
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 were popular
these
Correct your spelling
there
show examples
 were not
much
Correct quantifier usage
many
show examples
 suicide cases but currently many students suicide for silly reasons, they
atleast
Correct your spelling
at least
 all these methods and techniques from the
movies
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 they watch.
Conclusion
In conclusion,
movies
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 are more viable,
however
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, it has a negative impact not just in terms of physical health but
also
Linking Words
 mentally.

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To get an excellent score in the IELTS Task 2 writing section, one of the easiest and most effective tips is structuring your writing in the most solid format. A great argument essay structure may be divided to four paragraphs, in which comprises of four sentences (excluding the conclusion paragraph, which comprises of three sentences).

For we to consider an essay structure a great one, it should be looking like this:

  • Paragraph 1 - Introduction
    • Sentence 1 - Background statement
    • Sentence 2 - Detailed background statement
    • Sentence 3 - Thesis
    • Sentence 4 - Outline sentence
  • Paragraph 2 - First supporting paragraph
    • Sentence 1 - Topic sentence
    • Sentence 2 - Example
    • Sentence 3 - Discussion
    • Sentence 4 - Conclusion
  • Paragraph 3 - Second supporting paragraph
    • Sentence 1 - Topic sentence
    • Sentence 2 - Example
    • Sentence 3 - Discussion
    • Sentence 4 - Conclusion
  • Paragraph 4 - Conclusion
    • Sentence 1 - Summary
    • Sentence 2 - Restatement of thesis
    • Sentence 3 - Prediction or recommendation

Our recommended essay structure above comprises of fifteen (15) sentences, which will make your essay approximately 250 to 275 words.

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