Television is dangerous because it destroys family life and any sense of community; instead of visiting people or talking with our family we just watch television. To what extent do you agree or disagree with this opinion?

Television
has become more common and it has become part of everyone’s life. Some people think that watching
TV
is a way to entertain,
however
, I believe that
TV
may negatively affect society and
family
Fix the agreement mistake
families
show examples
. The key reason is that
TV
may affect communication.
Television
provides various themes of movies and
TV
shows,
this
makes people start to prefer staying at home rather than leaving home.
This
greatly reduces the chance for people to meet or chat with each other face to face, which may weaken the relationships between them.
Besides
, everyone has different opinions and comments on
TV
shows,
for example
, some friends may quarrel with each other as they have opposite views on
TV
dramas.
This
may affect
friendship
Fix the agreement mistake
friendships
show examples
,
as
Correct word choice
and as
show examples
a result watching
Television
may seriously affect people’s relationships and
thus
affect families. Another reason is that children may learn some bad behaviours from
TV
shows. As many
TV
shows contain violence, some immature teens may learn from them.
For instance
, some teenagers may think it is cool to
flight
Replace the word
fly
show examples
with others or smoke after watching actors in
TV
dramas doing so, so they may copy from them.
In addition
, many
TV
shows contain inappropriate words or foul language,
adolescent
Fix the agreement mistake
adolescents
show examples
may learn those bad words from
TV
and others will think that they are impolite.
Therefore
TV
shows and dramas may cause teenagers to learn some improper activities and vocabulary.
To conclude
,
Television
may affect the development of children and people’s relationships , so it will
cause
Verb problem
have
show examples
negative effects on society and
family
Fix the agreement mistake
families
show examples
.
Submitted by chloelwy3905 on

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task response coherence cohesion
Provide more specific examples to support your points. Make sure to connect your ideas more cohesively in each paragraph to improve clarity and coherence.

Use a variety of complex and simple sentences

You should use complex sentences in your writing, but it does not mean that you should try to make all of our sentences complex.

‘Complex’ sentences are not actually very complex; they are just two or more simple sentences put together. Putting them together makes the essay more coherent and cohesive.

Examples:

I really want to study but I’m too tired.

I wore a warm coat because the weather was cold.

If action is not taken soon on climate change, global warming will get worse.

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