Should young children be encouraged to follow strict rules based on their cultural traditions or allowed to behave freely? Discuss both views and give your opinion
Some would argue that youngsters should be encouraged to pursue tough
rules
based on their historical cultures and traditions
, while
others believe that they should be treated freely. Although
cultural traditions
are important because they can affect our family relationships and are agreeable to the majority of the community, I believe that freedom in behaviour leads to increased independence and improves our society
.
On the one hand, Many people
try to breed their children based on their family or historical traditions
to preserve their history for many years. Parents think that following other viewpoints leads to ruining their relationships because the strength of family relationships is based on historical traditions
. In addition
, they believe that if children want to succeed in society
, they should obey these kinds of rules
because by following these rules
, young people
are shown better or more normal in sight of society
. For instance
, Iranian parents think children cannot select their religion by themselves and when they are born they are Muslim and if they change their religion, society
and communication do not accept them. However
, in point of my view forcing youngsters to follow cultural traditions
is not a good idea and they should behave freely.
On the other hand
, freestyle in treatment is thought to make diversity in culture that leads to improving societies. If young people
behave freely, they can reach self-recognition and select the suitable routes in order to succeed than the others who obey their historical traditions
blindly. Moreover
, they will be independent in the future because they learn to find their way by themselves and it can affect all aspects of their lives like job and personal life. For example
, in the United States, young people
have freedom and not only does it lead to increased diversity in viewpoints but also
leads to improvement in their society
because people
now learn to respect other opinions. In my opinion, treatment freely and without any forces brings success for both young people
and society
.
In conclusion, although
following these rules
may enhance our family connections and sight of society
, freedom can improve personality and society
.Submitted by hadadianmohamadhossein on
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style
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content
Try to incorporate direct examples or evidence to support your arguments, making them even more compelling.
depth
While your essay discusses both views effectively, deepening the analysis of each viewpoint could make your arguments even stronger.
accuracy
Pay attention to minor grammatical errors and spelling mistakes, as refining these will improve the overall presentation of your essay.
introduction
You've done a great job introducing the topic and providing a clear statement of your opinion, which greatly enhances the structure of your essay.
organization
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balance
You effectively discuss both sides of the argument, offering a balanced perspective before stating your own viewpoint, which is excellent for task response.
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