In many countries, people are now living longer than ever before. Some people say an ageing population creates problems for governments. Other people think there are benefits if society has more elderly people. To what extent do the advantages of having an ageing population outweigh the disadvantages?
Human beings are currently living longer than in the past in numerous provinces.
This
essay will argue that the advantages of this
outweigh the drawbacks. The essay will first demonstrate that it might seem that the increasing number
of elderly people
would put financial pressure on the government, however
, it may have some financial benefits too, also
, elder people
would convey their experiences to the younger generation to develop the world.
To begin
with, without a balance in the number
of citizens, it would be hard for the government to find out the number
of accomodations, parks and buildings to be built, however
, if the number
of elderly people
increases they can charge more taxes. Therefore
, the countries may ensure themselves since the number
of citizens who might pay fines and taxes rises. For instance
, in Australia
the average age of humans has risen in the Add a comma
Australia,
last
decade, and the amount of income has gone up by 20%.
Obviously, the companies, where the vast majority of employees have been accepted recently, may struggle with the lack of experienced workers. The learning process gets faster if there is someone who is wiser and with great experience. Moreover
, there are some life-threatening jobs and hiring elder people
for work would be preferable as younger people
have longer lives ahead. For example
, due to
the sudden mine explosion in Japan, this
mine became highly radioactive but there were some healthy risky jobs to be done, then
, pensioners decided to go to this
mine and contribute to significant research.
In conclusion, the increasing number
of old citizens instead
of being a problem for the government, would help the next generation and would make our society better.Submitted by nurali_serik on
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task achievement
Your task response is on point as you have addressed both sides of the argument about the ageing population. However, ensure your thesis statement clearly compares advantages against disadvantages. A stronger concluding sentence could wrap up your argument more effectively.
coherence cohesion
Your essay is generally well-structured. Make sure each paragraph has a clear main idea and transitions between ideas are smooth for better coherence.
task achievement
You provide relevant and specific examples, like those from Australia and Japan, which strongly support your points.
coherence cohesion
The introduction and conclusion both succinctly present and summarize the main argument, which helps with the overall coherence of the essay.
coherence cohesion
Each paragraph contributes a clear point supporting the thesis, maintaining the essay's flow and cohesiveness.
Answer the 'Problem and Solution' topic
Problem-and-solution essays fall naturally into two parts, the first describing and exploring the problem, the second setting out the solution or solutions.
You essay structure should look something like this:
- Introduction
- Body paragraph 1 – Problems
- Body paragraph 2 – Solutions
- Conclusion
Examples to start your body paragraph:
- One of the first problems of the...
- Another problem that needs to be considered...
- A possible solution to this problem would be...
- One immediate practical solution is to...
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