In many countries, people are now living longer than ever before. Some people say an ageing population creates problems for governments. Other people think there are benefits if society has more elderly people. To what extent do the advantages of having an ageing population outweigh the disadvantages?

✨ Do you want to improve your IELTS writing?
Human beings are currently living longer than in the past in numerous provinces.
This
Linking Words
essay will argue that the advantages of
this
Linking Words
outweigh the drawbacks. The essay will first demonstrate that it might seem that the increasing
number
Use synonyms
of elderly
people
Use synonyms
would put financial pressure on the government,
however
Linking Words
, it may have some financial benefits too,
also
Linking Words
, elder
people
Use synonyms
would convey their experiences to the younger generation to develop the world.
To begin
Linking Words
with, without a balance in the
number
Use synonyms
of citizens, it would be hard for the government to find out the
number
Use synonyms
of accomodations, parks and buildings to be built,
however
Linking Words
, if the
number
Use synonyms
of elderly
people
Use synonyms
increases they can charge more taxes.
Therefore
Linking Words
, the countries may ensure themselves since the
number
Use synonyms
of citizens who might pay fines and taxes rises.
For instance
Linking Words
, in
Australia
Add a comma
Australia,
show examples
the average age of humans has risen in the
last
Linking Words
decade, and the amount of income has gone up by 20%. Obviously, the companies, where the vast majority of employees have been accepted recently, may struggle with the lack of experienced workers. The learning process gets faster if there is someone who is wiser and with great experience.
Moreover
Linking Words
, there are some life-threatening jobs and hiring elder
people
Use synonyms
for work would be preferable as younger
people
Use synonyms
have longer lives ahead.
For example
Linking Words
,
due to
Linking Words
the sudden mine explosion in Japan,
this
Linking Words
mine became highly radioactive but there were some healthy risky jobs to be done,
then
Linking Words
, pensioners decided to go to
this
Linking Words
mine and contribute to significant research. In conclusion, the increasing
number
Use synonyms
of old citizens
instead
Linking Words
of being a problem for the government, would help the next generation and would make our society better.
Submitted by nurali_serik on

Unauthorized use and/or duplication of this material without express and written permission from this site’s author and/or owner is strictly prohibited. Excerpts and links may be used, provided that full and clear credit is given to Writing9 with appropriate and specific direction to the original content.

task achievement
Your task response is on point as you have addressed both sides of the argument about the ageing population. However, ensure your thesis statement clearly compares advantages against disadvantages. A stronger concluding sentence could wrap up your argument more effectively.
coherence cohesion
Your essay is generally well-structured. Make sure each paragraph has a clear main idea and transitions between ideas are smooth for better coherence.
task achievement
You provide relevant and specific examples, like those from Australia and Japan, which strongly support your points.
coherence cohesion
The introduction and conclusion both succinctly present and summarize the main argument, which helps with the overall coherence of the essay.
coherence cohesion
Each paragraph contributes a clear point supporting the thesis, maintaining the essay's flow and cohesiveness.

Answer the 'Problem and Solution' topic

Problem-and-solution essays fall naturally into two parts, the first describing and exploring the problem, the second setting out the solution or solutions.

You essay structure should look something like this:

  • Introduction
  • Body paragraph 1 – Problems
  • Body paragraph 2 – Solutions
  • Conclusion

Examples to start your body paragraph:

  • One of the first problems of the...
  • Another problem that needs to be considered...
  • A possible solution to this problem would be...
  • One immediate practical solution is to...

Discover more tips in The Ultimate Guide to Get a Target Band Score of 7+ »— a book that's free for 🚀 Premium users.

Topic Vocabulary:
  • ageing population
  • benefits
  • disadvantages
  • advantages
  • experience
  • knowledge
  • contribution
  • economy
  • society
  • healthcare
  • youth employment
  • community
  • intergenerational support
  • volunteerism
  • mentorship
  • increased demand
  • pension costs
  • social welfare systems
  • workforce
  • productivity
  • intergenerational conflict
  • technological adaptability
  • dependency
  • effective
  • skill development
  • employment opportunities
  • intergenerational solidarity
  • communication
  • lifelong learning
  • technological literacy
  • age-friendly
  • social policies
  • infrastructure
What to do next:
Look at other essays: