It is often thought that the increase in juvenile crime can be attributed to violence in the media. Do you agree that this is the main cause of juvenile crime? What solutions can you offer to deal with this situation?

#crime #violence #media #offer #situation

Nowadays there is an upward trend

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show examples

juvenile

Correct article usage

the juvenile

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delinquency rate. Some people say

this

is because

the

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of the

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flourishing in the

media

industry which sometimes contains violent content, and

such

unhealthy contexts can influence immature

children

thought

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thoughts

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. In my opinion, I totally agree with

this

idea and think that it is better to have

parents

' accompanying when

children

are watching TV or using social

media

;

furthermore

, violent content on these

media

should be strictly restricted by the authority.

To begin

with, the

media

should take the greatest responsibility

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for

show examples

juvenile crime because they spread inadequate information without categorizing their users.

As a result

these bad information

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this bad information

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can easily be seen by

children

who are mentally immature and have less knowledge to recognize things' right and wrong.

For example

, according to the authority's research, in

Taiwan

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,Taiwan

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up to 70 per cent of students in elementary

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schools

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shools

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schools

show examples

will

imidate

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imitate

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public figures' ways of speaking and

behaviors

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behaviours

show examples

, for just wanting to be like them.

Consequently

, some bad behaviours

such

as bullying or discriminating can happen in the school or on the internet. In order to deal

these

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with these

show examples

problems mentioned above,

parents

' accompanying and

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apply

show examples

strict censorship from the government will be important all the more.

Firstly

parents

have to spend some time

to watch

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watching

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TV or browse websites with their

children

, taking

this

opportunity to assist them with developing the ability to tell right from wrong.

Therefore

, even

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though

show examples

thought

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though

show examples

Correct article usage

apply

show examples

unhealthy behaviour or speaking has been exposed to the

children

, the harmful effect on them can be enormously minimized.

In addition

this

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apply

show examples

comprehensive censorship from the government is able to effectively curb

the

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apply

show examples

juvenile delinquency because

this

is the easiest and quickest way to thoroughly eradicate inadequate messages on all kinds of

the

Correct article usage

apply

show examples

media

. In conclusion, unhealthy

contents

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content

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from the

media

should be blamed for encouraging

children

to commit

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a crime

the crime

show examples

crime

Fix the agreement mistake

crimes

show examples

, and an adequate education from

parents

and a stringent regulation introduced by the government can ease

this

problem.

Submitted by champincloud on Mon Oct 11 2021

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Support ideas with relevant, specific examples

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Examples, if used properly, not only help you get higher marks for ‘Task Response’ but also for ‘Coherence’.

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Linking words for giving examples:

for example
for instance
to illustrate this
to give a clear example
such as
namely
to illustrate
take, for example

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10Linking words
meeting the goal of 7 or more
3Word repetition
meeting the goal of 3 or fewer
23Grammar mistakes
 

4 paragraphs

326 words

0123456789.0505

Overall Band Score

Coherence and Cohesion: 6.0

Logical structure

Introduction & conclusion present

Supported main points

Accurate linking words

Variety in linking words

Lexical resource: 4.0

Varied vocabulary

Accurate spelling & word formation

Grammatical Range: 4.0

Mix of complex & simple sentences

Clear and correct grammar

Task Achievement: 6.0

Complete response

7.5

Clear & comprehensive ideas

Relevant & specific examples

Appropriate word count

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It is often thought that the increase in juvenile crime can be attributed to violence in the media. Do you agree that this is the main cause of juvenile crime? What solutions can you offer to deal with this situation?

Support ideas with relevant, specific examples

Rich countries often give money to poorer countries, but it does not solve poverty. Therefore, developed countries should give other types of help to the poor countries rather than financial aid. To what extent do you agree or disagree?

Many believe that being good at a sport is result of talent while others think that it comes from hard work. Discuss both views and give your reasons.

Nowadays, many people have easy access to computers and a large number of children play computer games.

Some employers want to be able to contact their staff all the time including holidays. Do you think the advantages of this are more than its disadvantages?

In many countries around the world, rural people are moving to cities, so the population in the countryside is decreasing. Do you think this is a positive or negative development?