It is often thought that the increase in juvenile crime can be attributed to violence in the media. Do you agree that this is the main cause of juvenile crime? What solutions can you offer to deal with this situation?

#crime #violence #media #offer #situation

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Nowadays there is an upward trend

Change preposition

show examples

juvenile

Correct article usage

the juvenile

show examples

delinquency rate. Some people say

this

Linking Words

is because

the

Change preposition

of the

show examples

flourishing in the

media

Use synonyms

industry which sometimes contains violent content, and

such

Linking Words

unhealthy contexts can influence immature

children

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thought

Fix the agreement mistake

thoughts

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. In my opinion, I totally agree with

this

Linking Words

idea and think that it is better to have

parents

Use synonyms

' accompanying when

children

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are watching TV or using social

media

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;

furthermore

Linking Words

, violent content on these

media

Use synonyms

should be strictly restricted by the authority.

To begin

Linking Words

with, the

media

Use synonyms

should take the greatest responsibility

Change preposition

for

show examples

juvenile crime because they spread inadequate information without categorizing their users.

As a result

Linking Words

these bad information

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this bad information

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can easily be seen by

children

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who are mentally immature and have less knowledge to recognize things' right and wrong.

For example

Linking Words

, according to the authority's research, in

Taiwan

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,Taiwan

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up to 70 per cent of students in elementary

Correct your spelling

schools

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shools

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schools

show examples

will

imidate

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imitate

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public figures' ways of speaking and

behaviors

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behaviours

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, for just wanting to be like them.

Consequently

Linking Words

, some bad behaviours

such

Linking Words

as bullying or discriminating can happen in the school or on the internet. In order to deal

these

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with these

show examples

problems mentioned above,

parents

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' accompanying and

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apply

show examples

strict censorship from the government will be important all the more.

Firstly

Linking Words

parents

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have to spend some time

to watch

Change the verb form

watching

show examples

TV or browse websites with their

children

Use synonyms

, taking

this

Linking Words

opportunity to assist them with developing the ability to tell right from wrong.

Therefore

Linking Words

, even

Correct your spelling

though

show examples

thought

Correct your spelling

though

show examples

Correct article usage

apply

show examples

unhealthy behaviour or speaking has been exposed to the

children

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, the harmful effect on them can be enormously minimized.

In addition

Linking Words

this

Linking Words

Remove the article

apply

show examples

comprehensive censorship from the government is able to effectively curb

the

Correct article usage

apply

show examples

juvenile delinquency because

this

Linking Words

is the easiest and quickest way to thoroughly eradicate inadequate messages on all kinds of

the

Correct article usage

apply

show examples

media

Use synonyms

. In conclusion, unhealthy

contents

Fix the agreement mistake

content

show examples

from the

media

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should be blamed for encouraging

children

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to commit

Add an article

a crime

the crime

show examples

crime

Fix the agreement mistake

crimes

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, and an adequate education from

parents

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and a stringent regulation introduced by the government can ease

this

Linking Words

problem.

Submitted by champincloud on Mon Oct 11 2021

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Support ideas with relevant, specific examples

Examples make your writing easier to understand by illustrating points more effectively.

Examples, if used properly, not only help you get higher marks for ‘Task Response’ but also for ‘Coherence’.

When giving examples it is best to put them after your main idea or topic sentence. They can be used in the middle of supporting sentences or they can be used to start a new sentence. There is no rule for where exactly to give examples in essays, logically they would come after your main idea/topic sentence or just after a supporting sentence.

Linking words for giving examples:

for example
for instance
to illustrate this
to give a clear example
such as
namely
to illustrate
take, for example

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10
Linking words
meeting the goal of 7 or more
3
Word repetition
meeting the goal of 3 or fewer
23
Grammar mistakes
detected issues

0123456789.0505

Overall Band Score

Coherence and Cohesion: 6.0

Logical structure

Introduction & conclusion present

Supported main points

Accurate linking words

Variety in linking words

Lexical resource: 4.0

Varied vocabulary

Accurate spelling & word formation

Grammatical Range: 4.0

Mix of complex & simple sentences

Clear and correct grammar

Task Achievement: 6.0

Complete response

7.5

Clear & comprehensive ideas

Relevant & specific examples

Appropriate word count

4 paragraphs

326 words

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It is often thought that the increase in juvenile crime can be attributed to violence in the media. Do you agree that this is the main cause of juvenile crime? What solutions can you offer to deal with this situation?

Support ideas with relevant, specific examples

In the future, people may no longer be able to pay things in shops using cash. All payments may have to be made by card or using phone. Do you think this will happen one day? Why do you think some people might not be happy to give up using cash?

Every country has poor people, and every country has different ways of dealing with poverty. What are some of the reasons for world poverty? How can the poor be helped? Give reason for your answers and include any relevant examples for your own knowledge and experience.[654]

Topic: Some people argue that technological advancements have made our lives easier, while others believe that they have led to increased stress and isolation. Discuss both views and give your opinion.

Children today are told dependent on computer and electronic entertainment.It would be better to encourage them to spend more time outside playing sports and games. Do you agree or disagree.

University students are increasingly studying abroad as part of their studies. Do the advantages fo studying abroad outweigh the disadvantages.