It is often thought that the increase in juvenile crime can be attributed to violence in media. Do you agree that this is the main cause of juvenile crime? What solutions can you offer to deal with this situation?

#crime #violence #media #offer #situation

Most

Change preposition

apply

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the

Correct article usage

apply

show examples

people nowadays attribute the upward trend of juvenile crimes to the display of

voilence

Correct your spelling

violence

media

. I am strongly in favour of

this

belief. There are

Several

Correct your spelling

several

show examples

factors that favour

this

argument.

Firstly

, the youngers being immature, gets easily affected by the portray of

voilence

Correct your spelling

violence

media

Media

Correct article usage

The media

show examples

displays it in a very fantasized manner, which is perceived as an appealing act by these immature minds.

Secondly

, some other factors,

for example

, busy lifestyles of elders and lack of guidance by

parents

worsens

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worsen

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the situation

further

. In modern times, both

parents

are working and

nuclear

Correct article usage

the nuclear

show examples

family system is encouraged. So, the young ones, especially teenagers are left unattended with their gadgets.

Hence

, they spend more time with

media

and social websites. There are

alot

Correct your spelling

a lot

of solutions to

this

problem,

for example

, constructive discussions among

parents

and children should be encouraged. There should be no communication gap between the family members. The elders especially

parents

should take out enough time from their busy schedules to listen to the thoughts and ideas of their children.

Also

government

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the government

show examples

should ensure

strict

Correct article usage

a strict

show examples

check and balance system on

media

forums

. One

such

authority called PEMRA

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apply

show examples

has been constituted by the government of Pakistan, for the purpose of controlling

display

Correct article usage

the display

show examples

of negative content by

media

forums

. In conclusion, I strongly agree that

media's

Correct article usage

the media's

show examples

display of

voilence

Correct your spelling

violence

is increasing the juvenile crime rate but

this

problem can be dealt with, by minimising the communication gap between family members and by helping the children regarding positive use of

media

forums

and social websites.

Furthermore

, strict government policies should be implemented to ensure better control on

projection

Add an article

the projection

a projection

show examples

voilence

Correct your spelling

violence

and other negative activities on

media

forums

Submitted by nailaheramedhat on Mon Oct 11 2021

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Linking words for giving examples:

for example
for instance
to illustrate this
to give a clear example
such as
namely
to illustrate
take, for example

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9Linking words
meeting the goal of 7 or more
4Word repetition
meeting the goal of 3 or fewer
17Grammar mistakes
 

5 paragraphs

280 words

5.00

Overall Band Score

Coherence and Cohesion: 6.0

Logical structure

Introduction & conclusion present

Supported main points

Accurate linking words

Variety in linking words

Lexical resource: 4.0

Varied vocabulary

Accurate spelling & word formation

Grammatical Range: 4.0

Mix of complex & simple sentences

Clear and correct grammar

Task Achievement: 5.0

Complete response

7.5

Clear & comprehensive ideas

Relevant & specific examples

Appropriate word count

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It is often thought that the increase in juvenile crime can be attributed to violence in media. Do you agree that this is the main cause of juvenile crime? What solutions can you offer to deal with this situation?

Support ideas with relevant, specific examples

The most important aim of science should be to improve people’s lives. To what extent do you agree or disagree with this statement?

Mobile phones should be banned in public places such as libraries, shops or on public transport. To what extent do you agree or disagree?

Some people think poverty is the reason behind most crimes. To what extent do you agree or disagree?

 People will buy a product if it has quality or fulfill their needs. There is no need for advertisement and considered as a form of entertainment.  Do you agree or disagree with it.