IELTS Writing Correction Service /
Writing Samples /
Band 7.5

Violence in the media promote violent in society. To what extent do you agree or disagree?

#violence #media #society
Broadcasting
violence
 either through new channels or even basic
television
 programs is very common today, and some sections of
society
 argue that it is
this
 that promotes
violence
 in
society
, whilst others feel that people are inherently violent as it is. I agree with the notion that people are inherently violent and will substantiate my reasoning in
this
 essay.
First
 and foremost, the news channels have to report the situation of the world in an unadulterated form, and in
this
 form, there are sections of
society
 attacking each other for reasons
such
 as religion, the difference in belief, political instigation, and many more.
For example
, the Palestine and Israel conflict is one that has been raging on since 1948, and it does not look like it will stop anytime soon.
This
 conflict did not start because of an episode of a
television
 program or because of bad
television
 reporting.
On the contrary
, it started because of one country occupying another. Alternately, there is a case to be made about
violence
 in
cartoons
. In
this
 generation, the
violence
 shown in
cartoons
 exposes children to things that they should not have to experience at
such
 a young age.
This
 can be seen with the difference in the types of
cartoons
 that are being shown. In the nineties, we had
cartoons
such
 as Tom and Jerry, whereas now the children are watching
cartoons
such
 as Ben 10, which portray extreme
violence
. In conclusion, I feel that
although
 the younger generation is more in tune with seeing
violence
 from watching
television
 programs I honestly feel it is not the sole contributor to
violence
 in
society
.
Submitted by Nigelvictorlawrence on

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Include an introduction and conclusion

A conclusion is essential for IELTS writing task 2. It is more important than most people realise. You will be penalised for missing a conclusion in your IELTS essay.

The easiest paragraph to write in an essay is the conclusion paragraph. This is because the paragraph mostly contains information that has already been presented in the essay – it is just the repetition of some information written in the introduction paragraph and supporting paragraphs.

The conclusion paragraph only has 3 sentences:

  • Summary
  • Restatement of thesis
  • Prediction or recommendation

Example:

To summarize, a robotic teacher does not have the necessary disciple to properly give instructions to students and actually works to retard the ability of a student to comprehend new lessons. Therefore, it is clear that the idea of running a classroom completely by a machine cannot be supported. After thorough analysis on this subject, it is predicted that the adverse effects of the debate over technology-driven teaching will always be greater than the positive effects, and because of this, classroom teachers will never be substituted for technology.

Start your conclusion with a linking phrase. Here are some examples:

  • In conclusion
  • To conclude
  • To summarize
  • Finally
  • In a nutshell
  • In general

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