Most societies has its homeless people. Some people think that the best way to help them is to give them money. What extent do you agree?

#societies #people #money

Despite the world’s economy

Unnecessary verb

apply

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continuing to develop, there are certain

people

in many societies who suffer from poverty and end up being homeless. It is suggested by a fair amount of

people

that providing financial support for the homeless is the best way to help them.

However

, I personally do not agree with the idea as I think that there are better solutions, which will be outlined in the following paragraphs. To embark on, it is true that giving checks to the homeless is one approach to helping them, yet it is not a sustainable solution. To illustrate, after homeless

people

receive the monetary donation, they may be able to make out of

such

money by purchasing a few meals to prevent them from

staving

Correct your spelling

starving

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; but, in the long run, they would still be homeless.

Thus

, I am certain that it is not the best method to help them.

On the contrary

, in my opinion, the best way to support the homeless is to provide them with a job. To elaborate, providing jobs to homeless

people

is the best idea to support the homeless because homeless

people

can earn money from working which allows them to get paid regularly every week or month, and, in the end, they will be able to manage to buy a house for themselves.

Furthermore

, not only homeless

people

can benefit from

this

policy, but the companies will

also

enjoy cheaper labour as well.

In other words

, it is a win-win situation.

To conclude

, it is my opinion that I firmly disagree that the most effective

mean

Fix the agreement mistake

means

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to help homeless

people

is to donate them some cash since it is not a sustainable solution. I,

however

, believe that providing homeless

people

with a job would be the best measure to help them as it will allow the homeless to get

Correct article usage

apply

show examples

regular

payment

Fix the agreement mistake

payments

show examples

Consequently

, the homeless

people

will be able to afford a house from that money, and they will no longer be homeless.

Submitted by big8392 on Mon Oct 11 2021

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task response

Your essay demonstrates a good understanding of the topic and presents a clear position. However, your examples are vague and lack specific details. Try to provide more specific and relevant examples to support your points.

coherence and cohesion

Your essay has a clear overall structure with good use of linking words and cohesive devices. However, there are a few instances where the connection between ideas could be clearer. Make sure to use cohesive devices appropriately to strengthen the logical flow of your ideas.

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10Linking words
meeting the goal of 7 or more
1Word repetition
meeting the goal of 3 or fewer
5Grammar mistakes
 

4 paragraphs

330 words

0123456789.0505

Overall Band Score

Coherence and Cohesion: 6.5

6.5

Logical structure

7.5

Introduction & conclusion present

6.5

Supported main points

Accurate linking words

Variety in linking words

Lexical resource: 5.0

Varied vocabulary

Accurate spelling & word formation

Grammatical Range: 5.0

Mix of complex & simple sentences

Clear and correct grammar

Task Achievement: 6.5

6.5

Complete response

Clear & comprehensive ideas

6.5

Relevant & specific examples

Appropriate word count

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Most societies has its homeless people. Some people think that the best way to help them is to give them money. What extent do you agree?

Essentional vocabulary list for IELTS Writing 7+

Friendships that take place online are not as meaningful as those where people meet each other face to face. To what some extent do you agree or disagree?