IELTS Writing Correction Service
Writing Samples
Band 6

Some people believe that personal happiness is directly related to economic success, Others believe that there are other factors. Discuss both views and give your opinion.

#people #happiness #success #factors
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It is often held that
,
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apply
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 some demographics of society claim that economic success plays a central role in gladness whilst
other
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others
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 think that alternative factors could be effective
on
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in
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this
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 particular sense.
This
Linking Words
 essay will discuss both these points of view and argue in favour of
former
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the former
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. On the one hand, the role of money for being happy is indispensable. To illustrate, by
power
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the power
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 of money everything would be achievable in today's world.
In other words
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, individuals could access
to
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apply
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whatever they want, leading to
kind
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a kind
the kind
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 of delighting.
For instance
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, people who have prosperous careers are
cosidered
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considered
 as good fortune due to the fact that they could be satisfied by their
proffesion
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profession
, leading to
sense
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a sense
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 of cheerfulness.
Hence
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, it
is believe
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is believed
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 that the more worthy general populations, the more glad life.
On the other hand
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, there is no denying the fact that
another aspects
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another aspect
other aspects
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 could be effective in form of happiness.
That is
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 to say, being happy refers to psychology category which
stem
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stems
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 in our emotion. In effect,
this
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 innate feeling would not be attainable by money owing to the fact that it is associated with satisfaction
of
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in
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 life.
For example
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, maybe a pauper person is more
delight
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delighted
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 than a wealthy individual because of
less
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being less
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 busy. On the whole, the opinion that fund brings about sheer
ephoria
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euphoria
 could be wrong. To conclude, there is a
controvesial
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controversial
 discussion about which is directly connected with cheerfulness;
However
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,I
personaly
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personally
 believe that satisfactory life and economic success are equally important to
creat
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create
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 an environment full of pleasure.
Submitted by m.younesi7093 on

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Your opinion

Don’t put your opinion unless you are asked to give it.

If the question asks what you think, you MUST give your opinion to get a good score.

Don’t leave your opinion until the conclusion.

Here are examples of instructions that require you to give your opinion:

...do you agree or disagree?...do you think...?...your opinion...?

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