Nowadays, some parents put a lot of pressure on children to succeed. What are the reasons for doing this? Do you think it is a positive or negative development?
These days,
kids
are under a lot of pressure
from all sides. Their parents
are also
putting a lot of stress on them. While
some people might say it's because of social comparison and cultural expectations, and it might even have some positive effects on kids
, I see it as a negative trend.
Parents
often compare their kids
' achievements to those of other kids
,
or even siblings. They might compare their Remove the comma
apply
kid
's grades to a cousin who got all As in a semester, for example
. Parents
can also
be influenced by cultural norms and expectations when it comes to their kids
' education and careers. In some East Asian countries, parents
put a lot of pressure
on their kids
to succeed academically and professionally. If their kid
doesn't meet those expectations, they can be shamed by society.
On the other hand
, parents
putting pressure
on kids
to succeed can have some good and bad effects. On the bright side, it can push kids
to work hard and reach their goals. Like, when a parent encourages them to do well in school, it might motivate the kid
to study hard and get good grades. That can help them work with their parents
and be good for their future. But too much pressure
can cause bad things too. For example
, if a kid
feels pressured all the time, they might get stressed out and have low self-confidence. So, it's important to find a balance.
In summary, while
a certain level of parental pressure
can be beneficial, it's essential for parents
to prioritize the well-being of their kids
and try to strike a balance that promotes both success and emotional health.Submitted by isrofildavrushov on
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coherence cohesion
Consider elaborating on the structures of your paragraphs to ensure each point is clearly delineated. This can be done by dedicating a full paragraph to each reason, effect (positive or negative), and your own perspective.
task achievement
Expand on specific examples and details to ensure your arguments are more fully developed. For instance, provide more depth to cultural expectations by describing specific scenarios.
coherence cohesion
Your introduction effectively sets up the discussion, and your conclusion succinctly wraps it up by reaffirming your stance.
task achievement
You present a balanced view by acknowledging both positive and negative effects of parental pressure, which strengthens your argument.
Use cohesive linking words accurately and appropriately
Linking words are very important in your essay.
To score effectively on your IELTS exam, you should make an effort to implement short concise sentences coupled with linking words.
Almost every sentence in your essay should have a linking word of some sort.
In fact, the only sentences that can omit linking words are your background sentence and thesis.
Linking word examples:
- firstly
- secondly
- thirdly
- in additional
- moreover
- also
- for example
- for instance
- therefore
- however
- although
- even though
- despite