IELTS Writing Correction Service /
Writing Samples /
Band 5.5

It is impossible to help all people in the world, so governments should only focus on people in their own countries. To what extent do you agree or disagree?

#people #world #governments #focus #countries
It is true that serving
the
Correct article usage
apply
show examples
domestic citizens should be the
first
 target of
governments
.
However
, from my viewpoint,
governments
 should
also
 support foreign
people
 within their capability. On the one hand,
governments
 should give
priorities
Fix the agreement mistake
priority
show examples
 to their
people
 because of two reasons. Primarily, the citizens not only elect to establish the
governments
 but
also
 distribute their money to create the national budgets.
Therefore
, the fundamental purpose of the
governments
 is to improve the living standard of
people
 in their own
countries
.
Secondly
,
financial
Add an article
the financial
a financial
show examples
 budget of each country is limited.
Hence
, the fund must be spent on solving domestic problems before supporting other
countries
.
For example
, the government must invest in military equipment to protect the national securities before helping other
countries
 avoid
the
Correct article usage
apply
show examples
war.
On the other hand
,
governments
 should
also
 pay attention to
people
Correct article usage
the people
show examples
 of other
countries
. The
first
 reason is that by supporting each other, the relationship between
countries
 can be tightened. In the context of globalization, creating strong connections with other
countries
 becomes more important, which can bring about many benefits for
countries
 themselves
such
 as favourable commercial contracts or political cooperation. The
second
 reason is that by sharing the burden with others, the government can avoid potential threats.
For example
, by helping other less developed
countries
 cure diseases,
governments
 can avoid those diseases to be imported
their
Change preposition
into their
show examples
 own
countries
. To conclude, undoubtedly higher
authorites
Correct your spelling
authorities
 should concern
on
Change preposition
about
show examples
thier
Correct your spelling
their
 own
people
 but it can
also
 be not declined that
Correct your spelling
government
governent
Correct article usage
the governent
show examples
 can not make
the
Correct article usage
apply
show examples
links to other
countries
. As it helps in
the
Correct article usage
apply
show examples
globalization.
Submitted by imchaitanyamehta on

Unauthorized use and/or duplication of this material without express and written permission from this site’s author and/or owner is strictly prohibited. Excerpts and links may be used, provided that full and clear credit is given to Writing9 with appropriate and specific direction to the original content.

Essentional vocabulary list for IELTS Writing 7+

Learn how to write high-scoring essays with powerful words.
Download Free PDF and start improving you writing skills today!
What to do next:
Look at other essays: